


Don't Waste Your Love On Me

by texasbelle91



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Consensual Underage Sex, Drug Use, F/M, Gen, Physical Abuse, Rape, Underage Drug Use, Underage Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-08-28 21:16:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 24
Words: 41,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8463244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/texasbelle91/pseuds/texasbelle91
Summary: The timeline for this would be season 4, the fall of the prison and instead of Beth being on the run with just Daryl; Merle and Judith are there as well. This is a METH story.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This was my first Meth (Merle & Beth) story. I originally published it on ff.net on April 3, 2014 and I'm just now posting it here.
> 
> Anyway, this is the first chapter. I'm very nervous about it because Merle is a very intimidating character. Please let me know what you think of it and if you think I should continue it.
> 
> Also slightly AU because, well, Merle ain't dead.

**Beth POV-**

Over the past two months, I have heard stories about him from everyone, including Daryl. The only difference was that Daryl knew why he was, the way he was and would forgive him for anything.

Merle Dixon, he seemed very intimidating and every bit the stereotypical Southern redneck so I stayed as far away from him as possible, even though I watched him from afar. There was something strangely mesmerizing about him.

But today was different, I was on a run with Daryl and Merle. Not the ideal pair to travel with but it was out of necessity.

Three days ago, The Governor and his men had attacked the prison while Daryl and Merle were out huntin' and though it wasn't a full out attack to destroy us, almost everyone that was there was hurt, except me because I was in the prison with Judith. Those who weren't injured badly were still unable to go on a quick run and other than daddy, who had been shot, I was the only one who knew what we'd need.

"Bethie!" I turned around to see Daryl runnin' towards me.

"Hey Daryl," I smiled, "Is everythin' okay?"

"Yeah," he slung his crossbow over his shoulder and an arm around my neck, "C'mon, we gotta go."

He was leanin' on me as we walked towards the building Merle was in. I didn't know why he was doin' that until I saw his eyes roll back into his head.

"Daryl?" He fell, pulling me down with him, "Daryl! Wake up!"

"Merle help! Daryl needs help!" I yelled over and over until he came.

"Damn, lil girl. You gonna draw ever' walker to us. What tha hell happened?"

"I...I don't know. He was fine and then he...he just collapsed."

"Gotta get 'im inside."

Merle picked him up and headed into the pharmacy. Once inside, he looked Daryl over and found he had a huge gash on the back of his head and deeper one on his stomach.

"Fuck. Ya daddy teach ya anythin' 'bout stitchin' anyone up?"

I shook my head, "Yeah."

"K suga. Ya gonna have to sew lil brotha up. Think ya can?"

"Yeah, I think so."

He started takin' off his prosthetic while I gathered up the stuff I'd need.

"What're doin'?" I asked.

"Tha fuck you think I'm doin'? Gonna hold Darylina down for ya, 'less ya'd rather him be jumpin' 'round," he growled.

I was too scared to form words so I just shook my head "no" and proceeded to stitch up Daryl. When I had finished, I tried to lift his side up to see if there were any cuts on his back but Merle grabbed my hand.

"Whatcha doin' there, girlie?" He growled angrily.

"I'm...I was just checkin' to see if anythin' was on his back."

"Ain't nothin' there. No need fer ya to go lookin'."

I tilted my head and glared at him, "There's no need for you to get mad," I said, "I've seen his scars." He pushed my hand away and walked out of the room angrily.

Daryl was still out so Merle and I packed the truck and he loaded Daryl into the back seat.

No words were spoken as we headed back to the prison. It was a good 4 hour drive and from the looks of it, it was gonna be silent and uncomfortable. At least when Daryl was awake, I had someone to talk to.

"How old are ya?" Merle said, startling me out of my thoughts.

"17 maybe 18 by now," I replied.

"Huh, guess lil brotha likes 'em young."

I glared at him, "Excuse me?"

"Didn't think he'd go fer lil girls."

"What are you talkin' about?"

"Ya fuckin' Darylina, ain't ya? Didn't think my lil brotha was inta jailbait."

"I'm not sleepin' with him. We're friends and I'm not a little girl."

He chuckled and smirked. That pissed me off. After a good while we heard Daryl groan in the backseat.

"Too fuckin' quiet," he said, "why don't ya sing somethin', Bethie?"

I glanced back at him, "What'd you want me to sing?"

Before the prison, it would've seemed odd that he'd ask me that but since we've been there, Daryl has become like a big brother to me. He was always checkin' up on me and Judith and would even carry me on runs. It was nice actually. It's how I would imagine Shawn being, if he were here.

"Don't care. Jus' sing somethin'."

"Darylina goin' soft," Merle murmured.

"Shut up Merle," Daryl muttered.

I looked back at Daryl, smiled and started to sing:

_"Standing at the back door She tried to make it fast One tear hit the hard wood It fell like broken glass She said sometimes love slips away And you just can't get it back Let's face it_

_For one split second She almost turned around But that would be like pouring rain drops Back into a cloud So she took another step and said I see the way out and I'm gonna' take it_

_I don't wanna' spend my life jaded Waiting to wake up one day and find That I've let all these years go by Wasted"_

_["Wasted" by Carrie Underwood.]_

* * *

_"Well damn, lil girl can sing. Cain't believe she an' lil brotha ain't fuckin'. They gotta be. Girl looks like a fuckin' angel though." Merle thought to himself._

* * *

**Beth POV-**

Halfway into the song I heard Daryl snoring so I stopped.

"Whatcha do that for, darlin'?" Merle asked with a smirk.

"Daryl was the one who wanted me to sing, I figured you'd rather I stopped since he's asleep."

"Naw, ya jus' keep on singin'," he said. So I did until we reached the prison.

"Oh my God!" I was in shock when we pulled up to the gates. "He must've come back!" I cried out.

"Damn," was all I heard from Daryl and Merle.

I was the first one out of the car and I was headed into the prison when both Merle and Daryl grabbed my arms.

Daryl looked at me and shook his head, "Get back in the car an' stay there 'til we come back."

All I could do was nod in response. I got back in the car and waited patiently for them to return. Just as I was about to get out, I saw Merle runnin' towards the car with Judith in his arms. He quickly got in and handed her to me before starting the car and leaving the prison.

"Merle, where's Daryl? Where's everyone else? What happened?" Judith was cryin' along with me but he didn't answer, "Merle!"

"Dontcha worry, darlin'. Daryl'll catch up ta us."

"Okay but where are we goin' and where's everyone else?"

"No one was in there 'cept her."

This wasn't good. Nobody would've left Judith there alone, not willingly anyway. Where had they all gone? Were they dead or alive? Were they with the Governor or on their own? My mind was reelin' with questions I was sure would remain unanswered for now.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Beth** -

Merle stared out the windshield as he drove. Judith and I were in the passenger seat, we were both cryin' but for different reasons.

"Damn it, shut tha kid up!" He snapped.

"I can't! She's hungry and we don't have anythin' to feed her. Maybe if you'd of stopped in that town we could've gotten her somethin'."

"Darlin', ain't no we. You're on ya own with her."

"Fine. Next town we come to, stop and we'll get out. You can leave us there."

"I ain't leavin' ya nowhere. Told baby brotha I'd look after y'all 'til he caught up with us an' that's what I'ma do."

"And when will that be? Where is he and where are we goin'?"

"He's lookin' for ya family, Officer Friendly an' ever'one else. He knows where ta meet us. 'Til we get ta anotha town, try an' get 'er quiet. Don't need no fuckin' walkers comin' after us 'cause of her."

"I could sing to her. That usually calms her down a little. Do you mind?" I asked.

Merle looked at me and Judith, "Naw darlin', go 'head an' sing if it'll shut 'er up."

I started singin':

_"Come in, come in my father dear And spend this hour with me For I have a meal And a very fine meal I fixed it up for thee, thee I fixed it up for thee._

_No, I ain't comin' in. No, I ain't comin' in To spend this hour with thee For I have to go down in the mines I'll return this night to thee, thee I'll return this night to thee._

_Then she got up her arrow and bow Her arrow and her string And she went down to the forest deep And sweetly she did sing, sing And sweetly she did sing_

_["Daughter's Lament" by Carolina Chocolate Drops]_

Judith stopped cryin' and fell asleep.

"Well fuck, ya can sing anyone ta sleep, cain't ya?" Merle chuckled.

"Huh?"

"Ya got 'er ta sleep an' ya got Daryl ta sleep before."

"Well, it's easy. They both like my singin'."

"Reckon so."

"If you don't want us here, why are you helpin' us?"

"'Cause my brotha asked me to. Said ya was his family an' we gotta look out fer family."

"But you don't feel that way, do you? Daryl's your only family. But Daryl is family to me...and Judith too. You shouldn't have left him."

"What kinda family are you an' my baby brotha?"

"He's like a big brother to me. He reminds my of my brother Shawn. You haven't heard him callin' me "lil sister"?"

"Nope."

"Well he does. And him being family means you are too, whether you like it or not."

I saw him shift uncomfortably at that but he had to know.

The rest of the drive was quiet until we came to a Wal-Mart.

"Ya know where tha stuff fer her is?"

"Yeah."

"Good. 'Cause we gotta be quick. Gonna have ta bring 'er with us. Ya know how ta use a gun?"

"Yeah, Daryl taught me."

"What else did he teach ya?"

"How to use my knife and his crossbow."

He chuckled, "C'mon."

I made my way to the baby section with Judith while Merle got food and supplies. Thankfully the baby stuff wasn't touched. I put Judith in a carrier while I stuffed diaper bags with food, diapers, clothes and anything else I thought we'd need for her. When I was done, I made my way over to the juniors department and searched for clothes that would fit me. Mine were torn and covered in blood so I decided to change.

* * *

**Merle** -

I watched 'er change shirts, made me feel like a Goddamn pedophile but fuck, she's tha best lookin' woman I've seen in a long time an' any man would be a fool or faggot not to notice 'er. She looks like a fuckin' angel an' even if lil brotha tries ta kill me, I'ma have some fun. She may be a 'lil sister' ta him but she ain't shit ta me.

* * *

**Beth** -

I could feel someone watchin' me change but I didn't say anything, any other time I would've but not now. There was no time for confrontation.

After we loaded everything into the car, I fixed Judith a bottle and got her to sleep. Merle and I were both silent until we came upon an old wood shack.

"Wait 'ere. I'ma check fer walkers. If it's clear, I'll come get ya."

I nodded without sayin' anything.

After a while, Merle returned. We made our way into the shack, carrying in what we could. Once the door was secure, he handed me a sleeping bag and a can of beans.

Throughout the night, I caught Merle watchin' me. At first I thought it was a little creepy but I have to admit I liked it. The way he'd give me a little smile when I'd catch him made me feel like he was showin' me attention, the kind I had never had before, not even from Jimmy or any of the other boys at school.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Beth** -

It's been two days since we got to this shack and there have been no signs of anyone from the prison. And though Merle had promised, Daryl still hadn't made it here.

Tonight it was stormin'. The rain would've lulled me to sleep before but now it just kept me up, along with Merle's snorin'.

I knew the rain was gonna make it more difficult to find everyone but I was worried that Daryl was out there somewhere and he needed us.

"Sugar, ya better get some sleep," Merle groaned sleepily.

"Merle, are you sure Daryl can find us?"

"I done told ya. He knew we was comin' here. He'll find us. Now shut up an' go ta sleep."

I rolled over and faced the wall as I let my tears silently fall. If everyone was gone, if Daryl was gone, that meant I only had Judith and Merle.

We'd never make it.

* * *

**Merle** -

"Wake up, sugar." I shook her arm and fell backwards when she jumped up with her knife ready.

She glared at me, "What?"

"She's awake an' needs ya, lil mama."

She glared at me as she picked up Asskicker.

"I'ma go huntin'. Be back later but don't ya let no one in, ya hear?"

She mumbled somethin'.

"What, you don't know how ta speak when spoken to?"

"Yeah, when I'm spoken to. You didn't speak to me, you told me."

"Same difference, ain't it?"

"Nope. Just go on. No need to worry about us, Judy and I will be fine."

"Listen sugar, I ain't worried 'bout ya. Just keepin' ya safe fer baby brotha."

She snorted, "if you cared so much about him, why did you let him go? Why didn't you go with him and leave me and Judy there? We're not y'alls problem."

"Look 'ere lil' girl, my brotha said you was his sister and he wanted me ta keep ya safe. I didn't go with 'im 'cause he begged me not to, said he wasn't leavin' y'all there."

* * *

**Beth** -

"Stupid bastard," I whispered to myself.

"The fuckin' you jus' say?"

"Nothin'."

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

He went to the door and started to leave but turned around, "Look 'ere girlie, I ain't got nothin' 'gainst ya but ya gotta quit actin' like a lil' bitch. Your family's out there somewhere an' my brotha, our brotha is gon' find 'em. Act right an' ever'thin' will be aight. Got it?"

I nodded and looked down at Judy.

"Good, don't go outside an' don't let no one in. Ya got a gun an' knife, use 'em." Then he left.

I sat there and said a silent prayer that my family was safe, that they were all together, Daryl had found them and they were all on their way here.

I closed my eyes, "I hope you're right, Merle." I said aloud.

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

 

 

**Beth** -

I had fallen asleep and was suddenly awoken by the sounds of voices outside.

_"Yeah, I saw that ol' redneck comin' outta here."_

_"He ain't comin' back anytime soon. Let's see what he's got in there."_

I grabbed Judy and placed her in one of the bottom cabinets in the kitchen while I peered out of the hole in the wall I had seen Merle lookin' out of.

I spotted two men. Two large men who were heavily armed, "Shit." I whispered and grabbed my knife.

Where was Merle? Why wasn't he back yet?

I heard their footsteps on the porch and I froze.

I've never been up against a living person, except for Daryl when he trained me but other than that my experience was just with walkers. My mind flooded with questions. What if I couldn't fight them off? What it they hurt me? Who would be there to protect Judy? Oh my God, what if they hurt her?

I felt myself jump as they kicked in the door. I couldn't make it to the cabinet where Judy was without bein' seen so I crouched down and crawled under the small table that was in the kitchen.

"Looks like he ain't the only one stayin' here," one of them said.

I could see the other pick up one of my shirts, "He's got a girl with 'im."

"I didn't see anyone leave with 'im. Reckon they're still 'round here?"

"Has to be pretty close 'cause there's baby clothes here, too. I'll look around, you stand watch 'case he comes back."

That was when Judith started to cry. He walked into the kitchen and started opening the cabinets. When he got to hers, he bent down to open the cabinet. Thankfully he had his back to me as I crawled out from under the table.

I thought of Judy and how I needed to protect her. Sure, these men could've been good people but I didn't trust them.

I raised my knife and silently and quickly approached him the way Daryl had taught me.

Just as I was about to plunge the knife into his skull, I was grabbed from behind and the knife was knocked out of my hand.

When I was thrown to the floor I tried to reach for my knife but one of them stepped on my hand.

"Don't even think about it, Darlin'."

The man that I had snuck up on climbed on top of me while the other pinned my arms to the floor.

He pulled out his knife and ran the smooth blade down the side of my cheek, "Don't worry, princess. We won't hurt you too bad. Ain't that right, Pat?"

The other man, Pat, chuckled, "Well, not nearly as bad as Delilah will." He looked down at me, "She'll have fun with you sweetheart."

The man on top of me put his other hand around my neck and squeezed until I couldn't breathe. My eyes involuntarily closed as the pressure on my neck increased.

Though my eyes were closed, I wasn't out.

I felt Pat release my arms and stand. I heard him say, "Jesse, I'm gonna head back to camp an' let the others know what we found here. Don't rough 'er up too bad or Delilah'll have your head." Then he left.

I felt Jesse, the man that was still on top of me, move one hand down my arm and then under my shirt to grope my breast.

The hand that was on my neck released it's hold. He took his knife and cut the front of my shirt open and moved down to unbutton my pants, "Mmmm, you're a sweet lil' thing, princess. I bet you taste even better than ya look."

He moved off me and began removing my boots and pants. As he was doin' that, I slid my knife closer.

He moved up to straddle my legs and bent over, licking my neck.

He was occupied, this was just the opportunity I needed.

My eyes shot open and I plunged my knife into his neck.

I could feel his blood gush out onto my chest.

Just as I was pushing his body off mine, Judith started cryin' again. I hurriedly put on my pants and grabbed Judith out of the cabinet and I held her close to me.

I glanced over at the mans lifeless body and fought the urge to puke.

Still holding Judith, I knelt down and plunged my knife into his skull. Just to be safe. After pulling it out of his skull, I wiped it on my pants leg and put it in the sheathe.

I carried Judith into the other room and fed and changed her.

When she had calmed down and fallen asleep, I placed her on the blankets.

The front of her little outfit was covered in blood. I looked down at myself. I was covered in blood too but I couldn't do anything about it now.

I heard the telltale moans of walkers and my attention snapped towards the door. It was still open. I unsheathed my knife and walled over to close it.

Before shutting it, I looked out to see how close the walkers were but I was relieved to see Merle's knife go through the lone walkers head. He had two squirrels in his other hand.

I squealed and ran towards him, "Merle!"

"What Sugar?"

I quickly started rambling, "Merle, there were two men...One left to tell the rest of their group..."

"Whoa, slow down there, Sugar! Let's get inside an' ya can tell me why tha fuck ya covered in blood."

I nodded and followed him inside.

Not giving him the chance to start talkin', I began tellin' him what happened. "Okay, so after you left, I fell asleep for a minute and when I woke up I heard two men outside. I hid Judith and myself, they kicked in the door, started lookin' around. Judith started cryin' and one of them was about to get her so I tried to...to kill him but the other man grabbed me. They held me down, the man that grabbed me left to tell the others in their group about this place. Anyway, the man that stayed, cut my shirt open and took my pants off..."

"He fuckin' took your pants off?"

"Yeah but he didn't do anythin'. I stabbed him in the neck, that's why I'm covered in blood. His body's in the kitchen but we can't stay here Merle! The other man said he was gonna bring their group here."

He looked at me as if he were tryin' to comprehend everything I had just said. Then he walked into the kitchen.

"Merle?"

"Aight, Sugar. 'Ere's what we gonna do. I'ma get rid of the body so we won't attract walkers. Then I'ma go find this man. We ain't leavin' this place."

I nodded.

* * *

_**-Later That Evening-** _

Merle had disposed of the mans body and then left in search of the other man.

This left me and Judy alone once again.

While there was still a little daylight left, I took it upon myself to clean the squirrels Merle had brought back -just another useful skill I had learned from Daryl. While they were cookin' I loaded some of our heavier stuff into the car, leavin' just a few necessities inside the shack in a bag.

When night started to fall, I made sure we were secure and prepared in case somethin' were to happen.

I let Judith sleep in her carrier while I tried to stay awake. I fought off sleep as long as I could.

I woke up to a loud banging noise on the door as Merle opened it.

His face was cut up and he had a stream of blood from a bullet wound on his left arm.

"Oh my God! What happened?"

"Get tha kid. We gotta go."

I got Judith and the bag of stuff and hurried to the car. Merle slid into the passenger seat, "jus' go where I tell ya to an' we'll be fine."

I followed Merle's directions but after a few hours it seemed like we were just goin' in circles.

"Where are we goin', Merle?"

"Another place me an' Daryl know 'bout. Why don't ya sing for me an' none of those sappy ass songs. Sing somethin' else."

I racked my brain for a song and could only come up with a few that I could remember that might not qualify as "sappy ass songs" so I began singin':

_"If you ain't got two kids by 21, You're probably gonna die alone. Least that's what tradition told you. And it don't matter if you don't believe, Come Sunday morning, you best be there in the front row like you're supposed to._

_Same hurt in every heart. Same trailer, different park._

_Mama's hooked on Mary Kay. Brother's hooked on Mary Jane. Daddy's hooked on Mary two doors down. Mary, Mary quite contrary. We get bored, so, we get married Just like dust, we settle in this town. On this broken merry go 'round and 'round and 'round we go Where it stops nobody knows and it ain't slowin' down. This merry go 'round._

_We think the first time's good enough. So, we hold on to high school love. Sayin' we won't end up like our parents. Tiny little boxes in a row. Ain't what you want, it's what you know. Just happy in the shoes you're wearin'. Same checks we're always cashin' to buy a little more distraction._

_'Cause mama's hooked on Mary Kay. Brother's hooked on Mary Jane. Daddy's hooked on Mary two doors down. Mary, Mary, quite contrary. We get bored, so, we get married. Just like dust, we settle in this town. On this broken merry go 'round and 'round and 'round we go Where it stops nobody knows and it ain't slowin' down. This merry go 'round._

_Mary, Mary, quite contrary. We're so bored until we're buried. Just like dust, we settle in this town. On this broken merry go 'round. Merry go 'round._

_Jack and Jill went up the hill. Jack burned out on booze and pills. And Mary had a little lamb. Mary just don't give a damn no more."_

_["Merry Go 'Round" by Kacey Musgraves]_

He was quiet throughout the song so when I had finished I looked over at him and saw how pale and sweaty he was. We had to treat his wound or it'd get worse.

The sun was starting to come up when I pulled the car over and turned towards him in my seat. His eyes were closed but they popped open when I touched his shirt.

"What'd ya think your doin', girlie?"

"Lookin' at your wound. We gotta treat it before it gets worse."

He looked around, "Aight. Grab the kid an' what ya need. There's a creek not far from here."

I grabbed Judith's carrier and the bag of medical supplies and followed him to the creek.

Once we were there, I opened the bag and pulled out a bottle of water and two Oxycontin pills for him to take.

After he took them, I built a small fire and gathered some bottles of water to give the pills a chance to work.

I removed the bullet and began stitching him up. He never flinched but I knew he was in pain by the way he clenched his jaw.

When I finished he went into the creek to clean himself up while I fed Judith.

He came back and just stared at me.

"Go clean ya'self up an' change shirts for fucks sake."

I looked down and realized I was still wearing the bloodied cut up shirt.

"Sir, yes, sir." I mumbled sarcastically.

"Hey, clean the kid up first then bring 'er back ta me. I'll watch 'er while you're in there."

* * *

**Merle** -

I watched her take Asskicker down to the creek and wash her up.

After she'd brought her back to me she went back down to the creek and removed her shirt.

I chuckled when I saw somethin' that surprised the shit outta me.

There on the small of her back was a little cross.

_"Sugar ain't as sweet an' innocent as ever'one thinks," I smirked to myself._

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: May contain triggers for rape, abuse and drugs.

_**WARNING: May contain triggers for rape, abuse and drugs.** _

* * *

 

**Beth** -

"We gonna stay here. I'll take first watch," Merle announced when I returned from the creek.

"I don't think we should stay here. It's not safe," I told him.

"Yeah it is. Safer than it would be in tha car."

I shrugged, "Fine. I'll get some more sticks for a fire."

"Don't go far," was his only reply.

* * *

**Merle** -

I looked at Asskicker then at Sugar.

I promised my brother I'd look after 'em an' I cain't even do that. I could see the bruises formin' on her arms an' neck. Them sons-a-bitches coulda killed 'er. Fuck! They coulda but they didn't, 'stead they almost raped Sugar. Guess lil' brotha taught 'er good but I ain't 'bout ta let that happen again.

I'd killed tha bastard that I'd recognized from Sugar's description but not 'fore he shot me. No doubt tha others in his group heard tha shot. Ain't no tellin' where they are. They coulda been followin' us. They could be watchin' us now.

"Sugar! Get ya ass back here now," I stood lookin' for her.

No answer.

"Sugar?"

I listened but didn't hear her.

"Damn it, Sugar. Where tha fuck ya at?" I said mostly to myself.

It hurt like hell but I grabbed up Asskicker an' started lookin' for Sugar.

I started up tha hill towards tha road when I saw her.

I sat Asskicker back down an' grabbed 'er arm, "Where tha fuck ya been?" I growled.

"You're hurtin' my arm, Merle!" She tried to pry my hand off of 'er.

"Merle, please let go. You're really hurtin' me."

She had tears in 'er eyes, so I let go.

She rubbed her arm then picked up Asskicker. I followed 'er silently to where we were gonna stay.

She sat down an' took 'er backpack off, "I went to the car. I thought we'd need somethin' to eat."

She handed me a ball of aluminum foil.

"It's squirrel meat. I cooked it when when you went after that man." She reached into the bag again, "and I got you these." She handed me two pills, "They're antibiotics. I got them after I had stitched up Daryl, I thought he'd need them. They may not be the right kind but I figured it couldn't hurt. You need somethin' to fight off an infection."

She stood up and walked away. When she came back she had an arm load of sticks.

She heated up some beans an' we ate 'til Asskicker started cryin'.

"Shh...Judy."

She fed 'er an' whatever other shit she had ta do but tha kid kept cryin'.

"Why don't ya sing, Angel? Ya know anymore songs like tha one ya sang in tha car?"

She shrugged, "I know a few."

"Go on then."

She shifted Asskicker 'fore she began.

_"Well two old red-nosed whiskey drunks were talkin politics It was time to hit the bricks, it was time for me to go And I was right there on the verge of pullin' out my hair Actin as though I could not care less and hopin' she would show_

_Well my bags are packed and ready, I was feelin' like a wreck Some clothes and personal effects, I left everything I own And the last I laid eyes on her, we were in a hotel hall Holdin hands like paper dolls, aw but here I sit alone_

_Well I'm gonna give it one more minute, give me one more round of rum Well I'm as empty as a drum, I'm as empty as a drum Could you spare a cigarette, I hate to be a bum But here's to hopin' she'll still come, I'm too old to be this dumb, well I'm too old to be this dumb_

_Well I tell you that bartender, she's a site to see Aw you'd be envious of me, least you would if she was here And the kid there in the corner has been spoilin' for a fight And it feels like that kind of night, aw but instead pour me a beer_

_Well I'm gonna give it one more minute, give me one more round of rum Well I'm as empty as a drum, I'm as empty as a drum Could you spare a cigarette, I hate to be a bum But here's to hopin' she'll still come, I'm too old to be this dumb, well I'm too old to be this dumb_

_When you darkened up the doorway, I stood up from the bar Well I said hey now here you are, damn it darlin' how are you and you kissed me Said I can't say that I'm great oh lord I hate it that I'm late Oh what a mess we got into"_

_["Empty as a Drum" by Turnpike Troubadours]_

* * *

**Beth** -

I laid my head back on a log and tried to get comfortable. Between knowin' those men had more in their group, not knowin' what happened to everyone at the prison and Merle's constant stare, I was gonna get much sleep. No matter how much I wanted and needed it.

Every time I looked in his direction, he was watchin' me and he didn't try to hid it.

Finally, I sat up and stared back.

"Why do you call me Sugar or Angel?"

He shrugged.

"Okay, well it's not like you don't know my name. If you don't wanna call me Beth, my full name is Bethany Michelle. You could call me one of those."

He grunted, "Like Sugar an' Angel."

"Okay." I leaned back against the log and stared up at the sky.

The stars were beautiful and it reminded me of the nights I'd sneak out of the house just to go to the pasture and try to count the stars. I'd give anything to be back there.

I hummed a song until I felt sleep takin' over. I pulled Judith's carrier closer to me and put my arm over it.

I felt a hand on my arm but I didn't fully wake up until I heard Merle's voice.

"C'mon, Angel. We gotta go," he whispered.

"Why?" I groaned.

"Jus' c'mon. Ya need ta..."

"Ugh," he grunted and leaned over to cover me and Judith with his body.

That's when I saw them. There were several men standin' around us.

* * *

**Merle** -

They pulled me off her an' made 'er stand up. Her eyes were wide.

They didn't say anything to her, jus' me.

"We been followin' y'all since we saw ya kill our friend. Ya wanna watch as we have your lil' girl, old man?" The bastard behind me shoved a gun against my head while one of 'em held a knife at my throat.

"Tell me somethin', how's someone like you get a fine piece of ass like her?" One of 'em asked.

Another walked up ta Sugar, "No, an old redneck like him probably beat 'er 'til he got what he wanted. Her and a baby." He grabbed her face, "Look at your old man, princess. He killed our friends, now we're gonna make him watch as we have you. Then we'll kill him and take you to Delilah. She has big plans for sweet lil' girls like you."

One of the men holdin' her started takin' her clothes off while the other pushed 'er to the ground.

I made my move but I stopped when I saw one of 'em turn a gun on Asskicker. "I wouldn't do that. Try to stop us and we'll kill your baby and her mama." He paused, "Better yet, we'll let them turn and leave them with you. You'll have to put them both down."

"Stop squirmin' you little bitch!" One yelled at Sugar then punched 'er.

Her eyes closed, "Merle!" She cried and tried to fight back.

"Here man, try this." The man with tha knife handed a syringe to the man on top of 'er.

"What tha fuck is that?" I yelled.

"Meth," he said.

They all laughed.

"It may be a goddamn apocalypse but there's still supplies and people who know how to make it."

He pushed the needle into her arm and was handed another one.

Seein' the second one go inta 'er an' hearin' 'er cry for me made me snap.

I reached up an' twisted tha arm of tha man that had a gun ta my head. He pulled the trigger but the bullet only grazed my leg.

My actions didn't stop tha men on top of 'er but the others tried to stop me.

"Aaggghhh!" One of 'em screamed, "she bit me! She bit my dick!"

I looked over in time to see her bite down on the tongue of the one on top of her. He screamed an' hit 'er. I grabbed a gun an' plunged at 'em.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Merle** -

"Merle!" She screamed again.

Two others were holdin' 'er down again while a third pushed inta her.

I left tha one I had been fightin' with an' grabbed my knife an' shoved it through 'is head.

* * *

**Beth** -

All I could think about was how much I hate the taste of blood especially someone else's. But I was not about to be a victim.

When Merle knocked the man off me, I heard everyone talkin' but I couldn't make out his voice and Judith was cryin' like crazy.

Merle stood and looked down at me. He didn't look well but I couldn't tell if he was hurt. He looked confused but I didn't know why.

"Was he shot or hurt?" I thought to myself, "I don't see any more wounds. That's when I felt it, a blinding pain in my side.

One of the men grabbed me and shoved their elbow into me so hard, I was sure it broke a bone.

Without thinkin' and despite the pain, I dug my teeth into his arm. It was all I could reach of him and I didn't have a weapon.

When he let go, I kicked him and picked up his knife. I pushed it into his eye and pulled it out and started towards the man behind me.

"Sugar?"

I held the knife, ready to shove it into him.

"Angel? Ya hear me?"

I heard Merle's voice but I didn't see him.

"Beth!" He grabbed my wrist.

That's when I saw Merle. He was the man behind me. He was the man I was ready to kill.

I dropped the knife.

"Sugar? Ya aight?" He didn't loosen his grip on my arm.

I panicked, "wh...where are they? Where'd they go?"

"Some of 'em left but I'm sure they'll be comin' back with more."

Merle picked up Judith's carrier and diaper bag and put his arm around me, pulling me away from the bodies.

* * *

**Merle** -

I got Sugar an' Asskicker ta tha car jus' in time. 'Cause Sugar passed out.

I got 'em in tha car an' went back down ta tha creek.

When I got back I slid inta tha drivers seat, Sugar was wide awake an' jumped at me.

"Merle!" She was shakin' somethin' awful, "I thought you left. Please...please don't leave me."

"I ain't leavin' ya, Sugar. We goin' somewhere safe, aight?"

She nodded an' curled up in tha passenger seat.

* * *

**Beth** -

I woke up feelin' like I had been hit by a train. I tried to focus on the road to get an idea of where we were goin'.

"Pull over!" I screamed to Merle.

He slammed on the brakes, "The fuck?" He looked at me like he was pissed off but he pulled the car over anyway.

I quickly jumped out and started throwing up. I had to sit down because my head was spinnin' so bad.

Merle came over to me and handed me a bottle of water. I noticed he was also holdin' a needle.

"Ya feelin' aight?"

I nodded and took a sip of water.

"What's that for?" I asked referring to the needle.

He knelt down beside me.

"It's fer you."

"No!" I jumped up and screamed at him, "No! I'm not takin' any of that!"

"Ya gon' be feelin' like shit then."

"I don't care. You're not puttin' that needle in my arm."

"Aight then." He got back in the car while I threw up some more.

When I was finished, I got back in the car and we started driving again.

I was wide awake the whole time. Somehow I managed to bite all my fingernails into the quick, to the point a few of them started bleeding a little. I couldn't help it though.

I noticed Merle kept lookin' at me. Maybe it was just me but he looked a little worried.

"Ya aight, Sugar?"

"Mmhmm."

We drove for a couple hours until we came to a small town. Merle stopped the car in front of a little shop.

I looked around but didn't see any signs, "Where are we?"

"We in Mansfield," he replied.

"Where?"

"Mansfield. Thought ya was close ta baby brotha."

"Yeah. So? What's that got to do with this place?"

"Grew up 'ere."

"Oh," my attention was suddenly focused on Merle's face but he showed no emotions.

He put the car in drive and turned down a little two lane road and after a few miles, onto a dirt road.

It took us about 10 minutes to get to a small trailer. It was very run down and the yard was junky.

I didn't wanna ask if this was where they were raised and Merle seemed to know that.

"We wasn't raised 'ere. We was livin' 'ere 'fore all this shit happened." He attached his knife to his prosthetic and grabbed a gun from the console, "Stay 'ere. I'ma check it out."

I didn't have a chance to respond before he was out of the car and headed to the trailer.

He came back a short time later and carried everythin' in the trailer before comin' back for me and Judith.

When I walked in, I couldn't believe what it looked like. It took everythin' I had not to say somethin' about it.

There were empty bottles and cigarette butts everywhere. I even spotted a few needles, pipes and what I assumed was a makeshift bong or somethin'.

* * *

**Merle** -

I saw 'er lookin' 'round like this place was shit. Fuck, I knew it was but didn't need 'er actin' like it.

"Go get ya'self cleaned up," I pointed 'er towards tha bathroom.

"How?"

"Turn tha faucet on."

She looked at me in surprise, "There's runnin' water?"

"Yeah, got a well. Ain't gon' be hot..."

She smiled an' headed towards tha bathroon, "it's better than nothin'."

I started pickin' up tha shit that was coverin' tha tables an' floor.

By tha time I heard Sugar turn off tha shower, Asskicker was cryin'.

"Sugar," I knocked on tha bathroom door, "Asskicker wants 'er mama."

She swung tha bathroom door open an' slammed 'er fist inta my chest.

"I ain't her mama!" She screamed an' hit me again.

She rambled on some shit 'bout bein' here was my fault an' I shoulda been tha one ta leave, not baby brotha.

"Fuck!" I groand when she kicked me in tha balls.

I grabbed 'er arm an' pulled 'er inta one of tha bedrooms an' threw 'er against tha bed.

"Shut tha fuck up, ya ungrateful lil' bitch!"

She had tears in 'er eyes when she looked back at me.

"I ain't 'bout ta hurt ya but ya stayin' ya ass in 'ere 'til ya calm tha fuck down."

I walked out an' stuck a chair under tha doorknob.

I took my prosthetic off an' picked up lil' Asskicker an' got 'er one of tha bottles Sugar had made in 'er bag. I sat down on tha couch ta feed 'er.

I could hear Sugar in tha bedroom screamin' fer me ta let 'er out an' throwin' shit. Then I heard 'er hittin' tha door.

"Fuck you, Merle!" She screamed.

Tha shit she was on was gon' have us both goin' crazy.

* * *

**Beth** -

I can't believe that asshole locked me in here!

I sat down on the bed and put my head in my hands and started cryin'. I wanted out of here. Not just this room but this whole world. I wanna to go back to the farm and have everything go back to the way it was.

I finally laid back on the bed and stared at the ceiling and closed my eyes though I wasn't goin' to sleep.

I must've laid there for an hour or so before I jumped up and walked over to the door.

"Merle, please let me out!" I pleaded, "Please!"

I heard him walkin' to the door.

"Ya ain't gon' try ta hit me 'gain, are ya Sugar?"

"No. Please let me out."

As soon as he opened the door, I jumped at him, completely forgetting I was wearing nothin' but a towel.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Beth** -

I immediately let go of Merle when I remembered I didn't have clothes on. I could feel myself blushing when I straightened the towel before looking at him.

He was just standin' there staring at me.

I walked around him and into the living room where our stuff was and grabbed my bag. Then I hurried to the bathroom and got dressed.

When I came out of the bathroom, he was holdin' Judith but quickly handed her to me.

"She wants 'er mama," he said.

I rolled my eyes and laid her on the floor to change her diaper, "I ain't her mama. So quit callin' me that."

He leaned forward and lit a cigarette, "Sugar, far as I can tell, ya is 'er mama. Ya been takin' care of 'er since she was born, ain't ya? Whole time I was at tha prison with y'all, I saw ya bein' more of a parent ta her than Officer Friendly ever was."

I didn't bother lookin' at him but I quickly changed the subject, "How long are we stayin' here?"

"Long as we have ta."

I picked Judith up and sat down on the couch, "So, me and Judith will stay in here..."

"Fuck naw. Y'all take tha bedroom."

"Okay," I stood up and grabbed her bag and headed for the bedroom but stopped, "Are you sure? I mean, it's your house. We'll be fine in here."

He just looked at me and stood up. He grabbed the rest of mine and Judith's stuff and carried it to the bedroom.

"Okay then. Looks like we have our own room," I whispered to myself and Judith.

* * *

**Merle** -

"Gonna be gettin' cold soon, we'll fix things up tamorrow," I told 'er 'fore I went back to the living room.

I sat there an' listened ta Asskicker fussin' an' Sugar tryin' ta calm 'er down. Jus' when I stretched out on tha couch, I heard 'er start singin'.

_"Sweet little girl, ever changin' Change your ways, waste me away, again You're bettin' on freedom To find what you like You're headin' for Austin Ya aint comin' back_

_When I close my eyes The same reckoning found I wanna see Austin Burnt to the ground_

_Drivin' around, drive myself crazy I feel I'm just wastin' time I pull hard for Austin broke down inside It took two hundred miles To change my mind I turned it around, I turned on a dime_

_Austin to ashes Fire in the sky Faith in believin' I've done everything but die_

_When I close my eyes The same reckoning found I wanna see Austin Burnt to the ground"_

_["Austin to Ashes" by Turnpike Troubadours]_

I's jus' 'bout asleep when Sugar came in.

"Merle, I can't sleep." She said softly.

"It's tha shit they gave ya. Give it a few days an' you'll be sleepin'."

"Seriously? A few days?" She sat down on tha edge of tha couch.

"Yep."

She put 'er head in 'er hands, "what am I supposed to do 'til then?"

"Jus' ride it out, Sugar. It'll make ya feel good a lil' 'fore ya start feelin' like shit."

"Guess I'll take first watch then," she said.

She got up an' started pickin' up tha shit that was all over tha floor an' unpackin' our stuff.

"They rape ya?"

She turned an' looked at me, "No but they almost did. They would've if hadn't of been for you."

I knew she was lyin' but I wasn't gon' call 'er on it.

* * *

**Beth** -

I quickly looked away from him.

So what if I had just lied. It was Merle askin', he didn't need to know. Had it been someone else askin' me, I probably would've broke down and cried but since it was him, I didn't.

I tried to keep myself busy but it was hard to when I could feel his eyes on me.

I knew why he was starin', I'm covered in bruises. The biggest and worse ones are where the needles went in my arm.

"I wish I had makeup," I said aloud to myself though I didn't mean to.

"I'll get ya some," Merle said, making me jump.

"What?"

"Ya said ya wanted makeup. Ya want it ta cover ya bruises, don't ya?" He sat up and looked at me.

I nodded.

"I'll get ya some. Gotta make a run an' find shit ta hold us over for a while anyways. Maybe board up tha doors an' shit."

Not really knowing what to say, I just smiled and continued with what I was doin'.

I couldn't help but laugh out loud when I thought of Merle gettin' makeup.

"What ya laughin' at, Sugar?"

"Nothin'."

He looked at me curiously, "Aight then."

* * *

_**-The Next Day-** _

**Beth-**

Merle had me make a list of everything we'd need so we wouldn't have to make runs.

He stared at the list for a long time with his eyebrows raised.

"Now, Sugar. I know ya need this shit but ya gon' have ta tell me 'xactly what is ya need."

"Read the list, Merle. Whatever they have left is better than nothin'. It's just tampons and if there's not any, get pads. I don't care either way, just as long as I have them."

He stared at me. And even though I felt uncomfortable askin' him to me those things, I'd need them and I didn't wanna have to make a special run just to get them.

"What?" As uncomfortable as I was, I smirked, "are you afraid to get them?"

"Naw. I ain't 'fraid ta do it."

He shook his and left after he made sure me and Judith were secured inside.

I smiled to myself. Merle Dixon gettin' tampons and makeup. Wish I had a camera and could be there to see it.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Merle** -

I's fixin' up a old wood stove for us ta cook on an' heat up this place when I noticed Sugar was shiverin'.

Ain't no doubt she's goin' through withdrawals.

I keep offerin' ta give 'er more but she refuses.

"Sugar, ya look like hell."

"I'm cold," she whispered.

"This'll be fixed in a minute," I told 'er an' watched 'er cling ta Asskicker.

When I got it goin' there wasn't much wood ta put in it but there was enough ta last 'til mornin'.

Sugar an' Asskicker was both asleep on tha couch.

The fire wasn't enough ta heat up tha bedroom too so I went in an' got a blanket fer Sugar an' Asskicker.

* * *

**Beth** -

I woke up sometime during the night to find that me and Judith were covered up.

That wasn't helpin' her sleep though so I moved to where she was layin' on my chest and she went back to sleep but I couldn't.

Once my eyes adjusted to the dark, I noticed that Merle was sittin' against the couch beside us with his head leaned back and he was asleep.

I closed my eyes and I must have dozed off because when I opened them, there was a little bit of light shining through the boarded up windows and Judith was in Merle's lap.

I didn't move, I just laid there and watched how he interacted with her.

She giggled when he tickled her and she waved her arms around.

I couldn't hold back a tiny laugh when she grabbed his nose.

"Well, lookie here lil' angel, ya mama's awake."

"I'll take her," I told him and I raised up to get her.

"Naw, you jus' lay back down. Won't be long 'fore ya start feelin' worse than ya was 'fore. 'Sides, it's rainin', cain't do nothin' outside."

"Okay," I laid back down but I couldn't get comfortable.

"Why's it so cold?" I asked.

"Tryin' ta save tha lil' bit of firewood we got."

* * *

**Merle** -

I looked up at 'er an' she was shakin'.

"Merle, can you give me a little?"

"Yeah, Sugar."

I sat Asskicker down an' got tha needle an' some alcohol.

"This ain't gon' feel real good but it'll make ya feel a lil' better."

She nodded an' closed 'er eyes. Guess she didn't wanna see it an' I don't blame 'er. I sure as hell didn't wanna be givin' this shit ta 'er.

"I ain't givin' ya much, Angel. Jus' enough ta keep ya from feelin' bad."

"Thank you," she whispered an' kissed my cheek.

"I'm sorry I gotta do this to ya, Sugar."

She had tha saddest damn look in 'er eyes. If baby brotha was 'ere, he'd kill me fer doin' this ta 'er.

I picked up lil' angel an' sat next ta Sugar on tha couch.

"Why don't ya sing somethin' fer me an' lil' angel?"

"Like what?"

"Don't matter what. Jus' like ta hear ya sing."

She sat up an' pulled tha blanket 'round 'er.

_"I want to run away, don't come out lookin' 'round Too busy dealing with it on my own He's right behind me, please God I can't be found Don't cast another stone_

_Feel I can wait until the sun rise The city tells me not to go till dawn And if he wakes, that's when my heart breaks and I'm as good as gone_

_How do I lie awake now when I know I've got to be moving on? How do I lie awake now when nothing's right and nothing's wrong?_

_And in the end, will we make amends? Just like we're face-to-face, another dawn And in the night or when the moon shines will you take me on home?_

_How do I lie awake now when I know I've got to be moving on? How do I lie awake now when nothing's right and nothing's wrong?_

_How do I lie awake now when I know I've got to be moving on? How do I lie awake now when nothing's right and nothing's wrong?"_

_["Lie Awake" by Allison Krauss]_

"Damn, cain't ya mama sing, lil' angel?" She must've agreed with me an' for tha first time, Sugar smiled.

It got too damn quiet.

"That cross ya only ink?"

"What?" She shot 'er eyes up ta look at me.

"I saw it on ya back. That tha only ink ya got?"

She shook 'er head, "No, it's not."

"Yer daddy an' sister know?"

"Daddy doesn't know. Maggie and my brother Shawn were with me when I got them."

"How many ya got? Where's tha others?"

She rolled 'er eyes, "None of your business, Merle."

"I'll find out. Baby brotha know ya got 'em?"

"Yeah but he ain't gonna tell you."

* * *

**Beth** -

I took Judith from Merle and cuddled up with her.

I smiled to myself. He's not as scary as I thought.

I've never liked cold weather and with things the way they are now, it makes me hate it even more.

I let Judith play with my hair while I closed my eyes.

Things just ain't fair but thank God we're safe, for now.

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Beth** -

I didn't realize just how sick I was gonna get from that stuff Merle had been giving me until I didn't have anymore.

He promised he'd find me somethin' to help while he was out scavengin' through some houses but that was three days ago and he hasn't came back yet and I haven't had any sleep.

I prayed this mornin' that he'd come back soon but it's well past dark and freezing.

"God, please let Merle make it back! I don't wanna lose anyone else," I whispered as I rocked Judith.

When she quit fussin' and fell asleep, I carried her to the bedroom and placed her in the middle of the bed with pillows on either side of her.

I wasn't gonna get any sleep so I knew if she did move around, I'd be in there before she got hurt.

When I left the bedroom I immediately went to the bathroom to throw up.

I was shakin' so bad but I made it to the couch and passed out.

* * *

 **Merle** -

"Fuck!" I yelled out when I opened tha door an' saw Sugar on tha couch.

She was pale an' shakin' somethin' awful.

She looked up, "Merle?"

'Fore I knew what was happenin' she had 'er arms 'round me.

"Hey there, Sugar, how ya feelin'?"

"Like shit," she whispered an' I chuckled.

"Told ya that's how'd ya feel."

She glared up at me but didn't move.

"Go on an' sit back down. I got ya somethin'. It ain't as good as tha other shit but it's good."

I got 'er some water an' a couple different pills an' carried 'em ta 'er.

Fuck! What am I doin' to 'er? Tellin' 'er this shits good. I should be helpin' 'er not givin' 'er somethin' else.

She looked at me funny, "Merle, what's wrong?"

"Nothin', Sugar," I handed 'er tha water an' pills, "take these."

"What are they?" she asked.

"Ya don't wanna know. Jus' take 'em."

I watched 'er take 'em an' it made me feel like shit. I cain't believe I'm doin' this to 'er.

She leaned back on tha couch an' patted tha cushion beside 'er.

I sat down an' took off my prosthetic an' leaned back.

She put 'er head on my shoulder an' closed 'er eyes.

I must've sat there with 'er fer an hour, waitin' fer 'er ta go ta tha bedroom or go ta sleep so I could carry 'er in there.

"What took you so long?" she whispered jus' when I was 'bout ta get up ta carry 'er ta bed.

"Mmhmm," I replied.

She opened 'er eyes, "Don't ya dare lie to me, Merle Dixon. I was worried 'bout you."

"Sugar, ya ain't gotta worry 'bout me," I laughed.

"Yes, I do!"

* * *

 **Beth** -

Why the hell was he laughin'? He's gone three days and tells me not to worry about him?!

I clenched my jaw and sat up on my knees and stared at him.

Somethin' happened and he's not tellin' me.

He stared back at me, "Ya aight, Sugar? Ya ain't said nothin' fer a minute or two."

I don't know what came over me but I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his.

He didn't move at first but then he put his arms around me and pulled me onto his lap.

He suddenly stopped and pushed me away.

"This ain't gon' happen, Sugar. Ya fucked up on that shit."

I crossed my arms, "Exactly what kinda shit was that?"

"What I jus' gave ya was Xanax an' E."

"E? What is that?"

"Ecstasy," was all he said before he lifted me off his lap and carried me to the bedroom.

He laid me down next to Judith.

"Ya stay tha fuck in 'ere with lil' Angel," he told me.

* * *

 **Merle** -

Fuck! I laid down on tha couch an' rubbed my hand over my face.

I sat back up an' reached inta my bag. I pulled out tha bottle of Xanax an' shook out three in my mouth an' laid back down.

Shoulda told Sugar why I was gone fer three fuckin' days but I couldn't tell 'er it was 'cause I found some better drugs an' took 'em 'stead of comin' back 'ere.

Two goddamn months in this trailer with 'er an' Asskicker had been drivin' me fuckin' crazy.

* * *

 **Beth** -

I didn't sleep at all after Merle brought me in here and from the sound of it, he didn't either.

I started to get up to go see why he was making so much noise but Judith started cryin'.

"Shh, Judy. It's okay," I picked her up and opened the bedroom door.

We were met with a burst of cold air so I grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around her.

The front door was open and Merle was on the porch smokin' a cigarette.

I found that kind of weird 'cause he usually just smokes in here.

I shrugged it off as nothin' and tended to Judith.

After I had fed and changed her, I put her in the little playpen Merle had found for her.

I leaned against the front door, "It's freezin'. Why are you out here?"

"I ain't smokin' this 'round 'er," he motioned towards Judith but he didn't bother lookin' at me.

"You've been smokin' in there around her. One more cigarette ain't gonna hurt."

"This ain't no goddamn cigarette, Sugar."

"Oh," was all I could manage. I looked down, "Where'd get it and the other stuff?"

He shrugged, "Knew a place."

I looked around and decided to go back in and find somethin' to eat.

I found a can of fruit cocktail and opened it. I had already taken a few bites when Merle came back in.

He dug around in some bags before he sat down next to me.

"'Ere," he held out his hand, "yer shakin' worse than a dog shittin' peach seeds."

I sat down the can and took the pill from his hand without askin' what it was. I didn't wanna know.

I almost didn't put it in my mouth but I figured it was better than feelin' like I had the last few days.

I suddenly felt really sick and when I stood up, I was dizzy.

* * *

 **Merle** -

Asskicker started cryin' when Sugar hit tha floor.

I jumped up an' rolled 'er over.

She was pale an' she wasn't breathin'.

I picked 'er up an' carried 'er ta tha bathroom room.

I stepped inta tha shower with 'er an' turned on tha water. It was fuckin' cold as ice. I could hear Asskicker cryin' but I couldn't do nothin' 'bout it. She'd have ta wait.

When Sugar started coughin', I turned tha water off an' pulled 'er out.

I left 'er on tha bathroom floor while I went ta put some more wood on the fire 'fore I got 'er inta some dry clothes.

She was shakin' again when I got back to 'er but 'least she was breathin'.

It wasn't easy pullin' 'er wet clothes off with one hand but I got 'em off.

I'll be damned. Sugar wasn't wear a bra under 'er shirt.

_Shit, Merle! She's a kid! Quit thinkin' with yer fuckin' dick an' get tha girl inta some dry clothes 'fore she gets sick._

I got 'er clothes on an' carried 'er ta tha couch so she'd be by tha fire.

Asskicker was still cryin' so I picked 'er up an' walked 'round with 'er 'til she stopped.

* * *

 **Beth** -

I woke up freezin' though I could see a fire in the wood stove.

The whole trailer was dark except for the little bit of light comin' from the fire.

I groaned when I tried to sit up but someone pulled me back down to the couch.

I rubbed my eyes and looked down to see Merle layin' on the couch with me.

"Ya feelin' aight?"

I started to nod my head but it felt like I had been hit with a ton of bricks so I just mumbled somethin' and laid my head on his chest.

"What happened?" I asked him.

"Ya passed out. Been out fer two fuckin' days."

"I have?"

"Yeah. I ain't givin' a fuckin' thing else after that shit. Ya jus' gon' have ta suck it up, Sugar."

I groaned.

Daddy and Maggie would kill me if they knew about any of that.

I watched as the sunlight started peekin' through the boarded up windows and I listened to the sounds of Judith and Merle breathing as they slept.

I felt myself gettin' choked up as I thought about everyone from the prison. All of my family was gone.

Tears rolled down my face and I couldn't control myself.

Merle's arms tightened around me and I could hear him mumblin' somethin'.

Through my sobs, I tried to make out what he was sayin' and when I finally did, I could feel myself calming down and I could hear what he was sayin'.

_"Well if they freed me from this prison, If that railroad train was mine, I bet I'd move it on a little further down the line, Far from Folsom prison, that's where I want to stay And I'd let that lonesome whistle blow my blues away"_

Merle Dixon was singin' to me!

* * *


	10. Chapter 10

**Beth** -

Over the last week or so, Merle's been keepin' a close eye on me and Judith. We've been sleepin' in the livin' room with him because we didn't have enough firewood to heat the whole trailer but yesterday he went out and found some so tonight we get to sleep in the bedroom.

I could tell the fire was starting to die out because it started gettin' colder in the bedroom.

Judith was on my left side, in between me and Merle. He was asleep or so I thought.

I pulled the blanket up to my chin and I couldn't help but shiver.

"Ya cold?" Merle asked.

I nodded but realized he couldn't see me, "mmhm."

He moved his hand until it was on my back and pulled me closer.

Judith was now against his chest and mine.

He didn't move his hand off of my back, instead, he started rubbin' it.

I closed my eyes and drifted back off to sleep.

* * *

**Merle** -

I's worried she was shiverin' 'cause of tha drugs.

I'd told 'er I wasn't gon' give 'er anymore but I had ta give 'er somethin'. I wasn't givin' 'er as much as I did at first, jus' enough she wouldn't get sick again.

I rubbed 'er back thinkin' maybe it'd warm 'er up. I stopped when I felt 'er relax an' go back ta sleep.

I got outta bed an' went ta check tha fire an' tha windows 'fore I went huntin'. I didn't wanna leave 'em 'ere alone but we needed somethin' ta eat.

* * *

**Beth** -

I woke up again when I heard the front door open. I looked over and Judith was still asleep but Merle was gone.

There wasn't anyone in the trailer so I opened the front door a little and saw Merle unloadin' a deer.

"Ya finally got up," he said more to himself than me.

I nodded and opened the door further.

"Where'd you get that?" I asked him.

"Went huntin' early this mornin'."

"Oh, did you just come in the house?"

"Yeah, had ta get a different knife ta cut it up with."

I crossed my arms and stood there watchin' him. When he finished, he motioned for me to come help him carry the meat inside.

"Merle, you know this meats gonna ruin before we can eat it, right?"

"Naw, it won't. I'ma smoke some of it an' we can cook tha rest now."

A little while later, after the food was cooked and we ate, Merle made a place to smoke the meat.

* * *

**Merle** -

I probably shouldn't of got a deer but I wanted ta get somethin' that would last us a while, 'specially after I found those tracks.

Someone's been 'round 'ere an' I ain't 'bout ta risk Sugar an' Asskicker's lives jus' ta get away from these people.

They're too close fer comfort but we ain't leavin'.

I made sure ever'thin' was secure an' ready 'case we did have ta leave, then I sat down next ta Sugar an' listened ta 'er tell Asskicker a story an' sing ta 'er.

Asskicker yawned an' laid 'er head on Sugar's shoulder. It didn't take long 'fore she went ta sleep an' Sugar carried 'er ta bed.

"Merle, can you sleep in there with us?" Sugar asked as she sat down next ta me.

I nodded an' leaned back. She turned 'til she was facin' me.

"Thank you, Merle," she said softly.

"Fer what?" I didn't know why tha hell she was thankin' me.

"For everythin' you've done for me and Judith. For keepin' us safe. I know Daryl asked you to but you didn't have to. Thank you."

I shrugged, "Ain't nothin' ta thank me for."

She leaned over an' kissed my cheek. When she pulled away, she was biting her bottom lip.

I didn't think twice when I pulled 'er closer an' wrapped my arm 'round 'er waist.

* * *

**Beth** -

With Merle's arm around me, I moved to sit in his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck.

I felt his hand move under the back of my shirt as my lips found his.

"Mmm," I moaned when his fingers grazed over my skin.

His hand was movin' up and down my back, then he moved his fingers over my side and to my stomach.

I gasped when his calloused fingers found and started teasing my nipple.

I slid my hands down his chest until I reached the hem of his shirt and slid my hands under it.

He pulled away from me and smirked, "Ya ain't as innocent as ever'one thinks are ya?"

I didn't know what to say so I looked down and chewed on my lip. Do I tell him I'm still a virgin or should I lie?

He stared at me and removed his hand from under my shirt then pulled me off of him.

"Shit, I ain't fixin' ta fuck ya, Sugar."

For some reason I was disappointed he stopped.

I got up without sayin' anythin' and went to bed.

* * *

**Merle** -

Fuck! I rubbed my hand over my face. I sure as hell didn't wanna stop with that girl but I wasn't 'bout ta fuck 'er 'cause she thanked me.

Naw, I wasn't gon' fuck 'er anyway. Already got Sugar on fuckin' drugs. Don't need ta ruin 'er any more than I already have.

She's too damn good fer this shit.

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Merle** -

I had left pretty early this mornin' ta see if there were any fresh tracks nearby.

I didn't see any tracks that were fresh. Maybe whoever it was was jus' passin' through but I'd still have ta keep an eye out 'case they decide ta come back.

When I got back ta tha trailer, Sugar an' Asskicker were up an' Sugar had some food cooked.

There wasn't much we could do 'round 'ere but last week I found a guitar in a house not far from 'ere an' ta my surprise, Sugar was good at playin' it.

She put Asskicker beside 'er on tha floor an' picked up the guitar.

She strummed it a few times while I was in tha bathroom but when I came out, she had started singin'.

I leaned against tha wall an' watched 'er.

* * *

**Beth** -

I knew Merle was leaned up watchin' me while I sang.

When I finished the first song, I went over all the songs I knew in my head and started strummin' the guitar to a tune I hoped would get through to him.

_"I grab your hand and you say 'wait.' I say 'no girl it's way too late.' We've been playing games for weeks, now I'm ready to play for keeps._

_Oh, tonight, we're gonna set the world on fire. I'm gonna set aside my pride. Not gonna be the one to say 'goodbye,'_

_Neither am I…Oh, tonight._

_So go on kiss me on the mouth. You know you want to; you should've done it by now. Girl you don't know how long I've tried, been fighting feelings deep inside._

_So tell me what you want me to do. Oh, it's too late baby I've already fallen in love with you."_

_["Oh, Tonight" by Josh Abbott Band & Kacey Musgraves]_

I watched as Merle moved into the livin' room and just stared.

* * *

**Merle** -

Damn, Angel sure can sing tha hell outta some songs. I sure as fuck didn't miss tha way 'er eyes lit up an' tha way she smiled at me.

Shit, I wish lil' brother or someone else from tha prison would find us soon. I ain't sure how much longer I can stay 'ere without doin' somethin' stupid.

I sat down on tha couch an' watched 'er play with Asskicker 'til she put 'er down for a nap.

She smiled at me again an' sat down next ta me.

* * *

**Beth** -

I sat down as close as I could to Merle and put my head on his shoulder. I've been tryin' for almost two weeks to get him to touch me like he did before but he won't.

He keeps sayin' no or pushin' me away from him. Somethin' 'bout I'm too young and some other bullshit he's tryin' to sell.

I decided I'd have to do somethin', anythin', to show him that I really want this since he won't make a move.

I'm not the most confident girl but I chalked my new found confidence up to bein' a product of whatever drugs Merle had given me this mornin'.

I took a deep breath and quickly moved to straddle his legs.

I reached up to his face and pulled his head to mine and lightly kissed him. At first he hesitated, then he pressed his lips to mine and held me to him while we kissed each other passionately.

He broke off the kiss and stared at me while I ran my hands over his chest. "Are ya sure 'bout this?" he finally asked.

I looked down at his lap and smiled, "As sure as you are."

Our lips locked again and our tongues intertwined. I could feel his hand runnin' up and down my back and on my ass.

I stood up and took his hand, pulling him up too. I led him to the bedroom and pushed him onto the bed, falling on top of him. As we fell, he put his bad arm around my waist and started pulling off my shirt. As soon as my shirt was off, he lowered his face between my breasts. Kissing and nuzzling between them, he started suckling my left breast. It felt so good I moaned and bit my lip. His hand moved below the waistband of my jeans and his fingers started playing with my clit.

"Oh my god," I cried out.

He pulled his hand from my jeans and just held me tight against his body while his fingers traced over my back.

I leaned up and unbuttoned his shirt. I pulled it off of him, then lifted his white wife-beater over his head. I ran my hands over his hairy chest and lifted myself off of him.

I kneeled on the floor in front of him. I was so nervous, I fumbled with his belt buckle before I finally got it undone. I undid his pants and pulled them off him. Once he was naked, I started kissing down his chest.

"Ya aight, Sugar?"

I nodded.

He got off the bed and picked me up and laid me down on the bed.

He pulled off my jeans and panties before he climbed on top of me and positioned himself between my legs. He pushed in just the tip and then pulled it out.

"Ya still sure?" He asked.

"Merle! Quit askin' that!"

He smirked and slowly pushed into me while he kissed up and down my neck.

Before I knew it, my whole body shuttered and I dug my nails into his back.

"Fuck!" He called out when he finished.

When we caught our breath, he pulled out of me and rolled over.

We laid there for a few minutes before he put his arm around my waist and pulled me into his chest.

I felt his lips on the back of my neck and shoulders.

"I didn't hurt ya, did I?" He asked.

"No, you didn't."

His arm tightened around me and I could feel his breathing even out. I was sure he had fallen asleep but there was no way I could.

* * *

**Merle** -

I held on ta Sugar as long as I could.

Asskicker started cryin' but Sugar had fallen asleep so I put my pants on an' went ta tend ta 'er.

I carried 'er ta tha bedroom while I moved 'er playpen in there.

It's better if tha three of us are in tha same room.

Jus' as a slipped my arm 'round Sugar's waist, I heard a noise outside an' then I heard voices.

_Shit_!

I laid a gun next ta Sugar an' woke 'er up 'fore I went ta see what was goin' on.

I cracked tha door open jus' enough I could see out. There were some walkers passin' by but that didn't account for tha voices.

Two of tha walkers went down without a sound an' then two more went down when a gun was fired.

"Fuck," I mumbled.

"Merle, what is it?" Sugar whispered. I turned ta see 'er holdin' Asskicker an' 'er gun.

Jesus fuckin' Christ, she was wearin' my shirt.

I'ma kill these fuckers for ruinin' this shit!

"Go back in tha bedroom an' push somethin' 'gainst tha door," I told 'er 'fore I stepped out on tha porch.

I could see some movement in tha tree line across tha road. I could tell from tha way they were movin', it wasn't walkers.

I let 'em get closer so I could get a better look at 'em 'fore I lowered my gun an' stepped off tha porch.

I could see it was baby brother, Sugar's sister an' Officer Friendly.

_"Way ta fuckin' go, Merle. Ya got what ya wished for but now it's too late," I told myself._

Ain't no fuckin' way I'ma let 'er go jus' 'cause they're here.

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Merle** -

"Where's tha others?" I asked when they walked up ta tha trailer.

"They're comin'," Sugar's sister told me.

"Beth an' Asskicker still with ya?" Baby brother asked.

I nodded, "Inside. Told 'er not ta come out 'til I knew what was goin' on."

"Maggie!" We all turned 'round ta see Sugar standin' in the doorway with Asskicker.

Fuck! She didn't put 'er clothes on!

Baby brother an' 'er sister didn't notice it 'til she started runnin' out towards us with Asskicker.

"What tha fuck!" They both shouted an' looked at me.

"What'd you do to my sister!"

"Merle, what tha fuck?!"

* * *

**Beth** -

I wanted to run and give Maggie, Rick and Daryl a hug but when I heard them screamin' and saw the looks on their faces, I hid behind Merle.

I had completely forgotten about havin' his shirt on.

He reached his hand behind his back and pulled me close to him. I put my hand on his arm and held Judith tightly.

"Bethie, are you alright?" Rick asked.

"Yes sir," I mumbled.

Maggie looked at me, "Beth, you need to get away from him."

"No!"

Then it was Daryl's turn. He drew back and hit Merle but Merle stood his ground.

"This ain't none of ya fuckin' business, Darylina. It's 'tween me an' Sugar."

"Tha fuck it is, ya dumbass. Does it still hurt ta take a piss? Shit, ya probably gave 'er somethin'."

What?! I started freakin' out. How could Daryl know Merle had been givin' me drugs?!

"I ain't gave 'er shit, ya hear. I got that taken care of back at Woodbury!"

Then it hit me. Daryl wasn't talkin' about drugs. I remember Daryl sayin' somethin' about that before but I didn't think anythin' about it.

Rick took a step towards us when Judith began cryin' but Merle stopped him.

"Where tha fuck ya think yer goin', Officer Friendly?"

"Merle," I whispered, "he wants Judy."

"Well, he ain't fuckin' gettin' 'er."

"She's my daughter," Rick said, he was clearly gettin' mad.

"Naw, she ain't. Tha way I see it, she belongs ta Sugar. Y'all fuckin' left 'er at tha prison."

"We had no choice," Rick growled.

"Bethie, come here. You and Judith, come to me," Maggie said calmly. I could tell she was tryin' not to scream.

"No," I shook my head.

* * *

**Merle** -

I wasn't 'bout ta let anyone, including Officer Friendly, take Sugar an' Asskicker.

Fuck, they didn't give a shit 'bout 'em.

"Bethie, daddy is waitin' on us."

Shit! I felt Sugar squeeze my arm.

"Daddy? He's...he's...?"

"Hey!" Someone was yellin' from across tha road. We all looked ta see that goddamn Chinese kid runnin' towards us. "We gotta go!"

Baby brother an' Officer friendly ran to 'im an' talked while I turned ta Sugar an' put my arm 'round 'er.

"Damn, Sugar, ya could've put somethin' else on 'fore comin' out 'ere?"

"I'm sorry," she said quietly, "I saw them and forgot about it."

She was almost in tears an' shakin'. Fuck, I gotta get 'er inside 'fore anyone figures out what's goin' on with 'er.

"C'mon," I started leadin' 'er back inside.

"Where do you think you're goin' with my sister?"

"Wherever tha fuck I want."

She was pissed off but didn't say anythin' else 'cause tha Chinese kid called 'er.

I told Sugar ta get 'er clothes on while I grabbed 'er some shit.

I went ta tha bedroom jus' as she was takin' my shirt off.

"Fuck."

She turned 'round an' smiled. I handed 'er tha pills an' she took 'em 'fore she got 'er clothes on.

"Beth?"

Baby brother an' 'er sister came inside. We left tha bedroom ta see 'em both starin' at us.

"This shit ain't fuckin' over, Merle. We'll deal with it when we get gone but get yer shit 'cause we gotta go now," baby brother yelled.

"Why?" Sugar asked.

"Because the Governor is close," 'er sister answered.

"Ya fuckin' led 'im 'ere?" I growled.

Ain't none of us said a fuckin' word else since we got ever'thin' loaded in tha truck.

Sugar sat 'tween me an' 'er sister an' clung ta Asskicker. I had ta keep Officer Friendly from tryin' ta take 'er as we headed to wherever their camp was.

They wasn't far from where we were. It was an old farm a couple towns over.

Sugar squealed when we pulled up ta it an' smiled again.

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Beth** -

I couldn't believe it! We were actually back at our farm and it looked as if they had worked hard to secure the house.

There were fences and traps, similar to the ones we had at the prison but they seemed to be bigger and better.

Everythin' looked so grand, almost as if it were shiny and new. That's an odd description considering our current situation but that's how I felt when we arrived here. I was in awe. I was finally home. And the first thought I had when I entered my bedroom, if I died right now, at least I'd be home, safe and with those I love.

I spent most of my life dreaming of having the perfect life but now I was dreaming of the perfect death.

You'd think that after a week here, that feeling would have already begun to fade but it hasn't.

The only problem I've had since we got here is not being close to Merle. I still have Judith but that's only because Merle threatened Rick.

Maggie and Daryl had told Merle to stay away from me and if he didn't he'd have to leave.

They did promise not to say anythin' about me and Merle to daddy though. I think that was mostly because Daryl doesn't want to lose Merle and Maggie doesn't want to upset daddy.

I wasn't even sure there was anythin' to tell but I didn't want him to know about anythin' either.

* * *

**Merle** -

"C'mon," Sugar held onta Asskicker an' pulled my arm.

"Where we goin'?"

"You're walkin' us to my room," she winked, "like you've been doin' since we got here."

"Yer gon' get me in trouble again. "

I's tryin' ta stay away from 'er but not too far away. I made sure I's close enough 'case she or Asskicker needed me.

It takes a hell of a lot longer than a week ta kick tha drugs she's been on. That's one thing we wasn't ready ta tell anyone. That's why I was at 'er bedroom door ever' mornin' 'fore she woke up an' ever' night I'd make sure she was in 'er room with Asskicker 'fore I went ta bed or went on watch.

When we got to 'er room, she put Asskicker down an' pushed somethin' in front of tha door.

I had ta laugh at tha look on 'er face when she turned back ta me.

"Ya gon' show me yer ink again?"

She shrugged an' bit 'er bottom lip, "That depends. Do you want to see it again?"

I nodded an' scooped 'er up. She giggled when I laid 'er down on 'er bed.

It didn't take long 'fore I had 'er screamin' an' had ta cover her mouth.

"We ain't alone no more. Ya best keep it down, Sugar."

She nodded an' bit down on 'er lip again.

* * *

**Beth** -

After Merle left, I went downstairs to the kitchen to help Carol and Maggie with dinner.

Maggie glared at me and shook her head. "We don't need your help, Beth."

I shifted Judith on my hip, "Are you sure?"

"Yes," she said coldly.

I shrugged and went outside.

Daddy was helpin' Rick and Carl with another garden.

I walked over to them and sat down on the ground by Carl with Judith in my lap.

"Where'd y'all get the stuff for this garden?" I asked.

"Daryl, Maggie and Michonne went back to the prison to see if we could salvage anythin' from there and there were a few plants and seed packets that were still usable," Carl said.

I looked around as his words sunk in and I felt the anger rising in me.

All these months and they had time to do all of this?! The security, the garden and everythin' else was put ahead of finding me and Judith?!

I jumped up and held Judith tightly and ran out of their fence and across the pasture as my tears began to fall.

I was unaware of someone followin' me until I felt their hand grab my hair.

I knew instantly that it wasn't Merle or Daryl or anyone else from our group.

My first thoughts were that it was the Governor or the men that had come after us but neither of those were right.

I finally registered in my head what it was when I heard the snarls and moans.

I got loose but there were too many to handle on my own. I started screamin' as loud as I could.

No matter how mad I was at everyone, I was thankful when Daryl, Rick and Glenn ran to us.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Maggie screamed when I got back to the house.

"Bethie? Are you alright?" Daddy asked.

"I'm fine," I mumbled and went to my room.

I must've cried myself to sleep holdin' Judith because when I woke up, Merle was movin' her out of my arms.

"Ya wanna tell me what tha fuck that was 'bout today?"

I sat up and rubbed my eyes.

"They didn't look for us." I know my voice cracked but I didn't care anymore.

"What ya talkin' 'bout?"

I watched Merle pick up Judith's bottle and sit down with her.

In that moment I wished we were back in that shitty trailer, just the three of us.

"They went back to the prison," I started, "they got stuff from there. They came here, fixed this place up, fixed a garden and fences. They had time to do all of this but it took them _months_ to find us! _Months_ , Merle! That's how long it took them!"

Merle clenched his jaw but he continued to feed Judith.

* * *

**Merle** -

Cain't say I blame Sugar fer runnin' like she did.

They're supposed ta be family but they didn't come after her an' Asskicker.

I knew what she needed so I handed Asskicker to 'er 'fore I went ta mine an' Daryl's room.

When I got back to 'er, she was rockin' Asskicker an' then laid 'er down for tha night.

"Take these," I handed 'er a couple pills an' took a few myself jus' ta keep me from beatin' tha shit outta ever'one 'ere.

I made sure they was both asleep 'fore I left 'em for watch.

When I got off watch, I went straight ta Sugar's room ta check on 'er an' Asskicker.

I opened tha door enough ta see they was both asleep. Since no one was up yet, I shut tha door behind me an' went over to 'er bed.

I's jus' sleep in 'ere 'til they were up but as I put my arm 'round 'er, I felt tha cold barrel of a gun against my head.

"Son, you have about two seconds to remove yourself from my daughters bed."

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Beth** -

Merle was tryin' not to wake me up when he climbed in bed but I was already awake. Partially because I was still mad at everyone and because I was hoping Merle would sleep in my room with me and Judith. I wanted nothin' more than to be away from everyone else.

He's the only one I feel safe around. It's not that I don't trust and love everyone here but they just left Judith at the prison and left me to survive out there with no one but here and Merle.

Merle's bad arm grazed over my stomach and I froze. Not because of his touch but because I heard daddy's voice.

"Son, you have about two seconds to remove yourself from my daughters bed."

Merle mumbled somethin' as he jumped out of the bed.

I rolled over and could see him standin' there with both arms held up in surrender.

"You better start explaining yourself," daddy said as he jabbed the barrel of the gun at Merle.

"It ain't what ya thinkin', ol' man," Merle half chuckled.

I could see daddy's eyes narrow at Merle.

"Now, what exactly is it that I'm thinkin'," daddy said.

Merle let his arms fall to his sides but quickly raised them back up when daddy pushed the gun at him a little harder than he had.

"If you think I'm going to allow you to come into my daughters room, sleep in her bed and make her do God knows what, you are sorely mistaken. She is a child, my child."

That was it. I jumped up and moved in front of Merle as much as I could.

"Daddy, I am not a child! When are you going to see that? And Merle hasn't made me do anythin' besides whatever or whoever I choose to do is none of your concern!"

* * *

 **Merle** -

I gotta give it ta 'er though, tha girl's got some balls considerin' there's a gun pointed our way.

I chuckled at Sugars use of 'whatever or whoever she chooses ta do'.

Apparently though, I wasn't tha only one who noticed her choice of words.

"Whoever you choose to do?" tha ol' man like ta have had a heart attack.

Sugar crossed 'er arms an' stared at 'er daddy 'til he lowered tha gun an' took a step back.

"Yes daddy, whoever. You don't get to tell me what to do. I'm not a child anymore."

Tha ol' man looked away from Sugar ta look at me an' raised his gun again.

"I am not tellin' you but once, get out of my daughters room. If I see you so much as look in her direction, I'll cut your other hand off."

Sugar put 'er hands on 'er hips an' turned 'round ta face me.

"You don't have to go," she said.

"Don't worry, Sugar. I ain't leavin' ya."

* * *

 **Beth** -

Merle put his hand on my arm when I turned back around to look at daddy. That only made things worse. I could see it in his eyes.

I was ready to argue with him about whatever it was he wanted to argue about but Judy's cries stopped me.

* * *

 **Merle** -

Sugar picked up Asskicker an' brought 'er over ta tha bed.

"I'm not sure what's goin' on here and I'm not sure I really want to know," 'er daddy said, "but whatever it is, I know I don't like it. It's time for you to leave, Merle."

He didn't give me a chance ta say nothin', jus' nudged tha gun at me so I walked outta tha room with 'er daddy followin' me.

He saw to it that I was outside 'fore he went back in an' locked tha goddamn door.

* * *

 **Beth** -

I was so pissed at daddy and I was nowhere near done with our little talk so I followed him and Merle out.

When he turned back around after lockin' the front door, he looked at me and shook his head.

I didn't have anythin' to say to him right then without it endin' badly. I stomped back up the stairs and got Judith.

If he was gonna make Merle stay outside, then we were too.

* * *


	15. Chapter 15

**Merle** -

We been sleepin' in tha bed of tha truck for a couple days now. They ain't let me in tha house since 'er old man caught me in 'er bed.

Me an' Sugar been sleepin' with Asskicker 'tween us. I think she's been scared someone, prolly Officer Friendly or 'er daddy, would come out an' try ta take 'er.

It took me a while 'fore I got 'er ta believe I wasn't gon' let that happen. That there ain't nobody who was gon' take either of 'em away from me.

Asskicker woke up cryin' 'fore both of us. Sugar didn't wake up but I did. Ever'one else was awake too an' they was all watchin' us from where they was on the porch.

I ain't sure if they was watchin' me with Asskicker or watchin' Sugar. She was shakin' fuckin' bad.

"Merle," she whined. I didn't think she was awake 'cause she didn't open 'er eyes.

"What's wrong, Sugar?"

"I don't feel good," she whined again.

'Fore I could put Asskicker down, Sugar was jumpin' outta tha bed of tha truck an' throwin' up.

Ever'one rushed down to us. Like I expected, they went fer Asskicker an' Sugar but she was still throwin' up.

* * *

 **Beth** -

"Bethie," daddy was standin' beside me, "tell me what's the matter."

I couldn't even tell him no or shake my head, I just kept throwin' up 'til I couldn't anymore.

When I was done I saw that Rick had Judith and they were all surroundin' Merle, keepin' him away from me and her.

Rick carried Judith in the house and came back out with a bag. Merle's bag.

They're going to make him leave!

I moved passed everyone so I could get beside Merle. He was lookin' at his bag too.

Daddy looked at me and after a good five minutes, he finally spoke, "Bethany, are you pregnant?"

Merle's eyes snapped down towards me.

"No," it came out shaky.

"Either she's fuckin' pregnant or dumbass 'ere gave 'er tha clap or some shit," Daryl spat out. He looked at Merle, "Ya like fuckin' 'er? What other kinda shit ya catch since tha world went ta shit? Huh?"

"Ya jus' need ta settle down there, baby brother," Merle held up his hand, "She ain't got nothin' an' she ain't pregnant. I'd know if she was. Ain't that right, Sugar?"

I managed a slight nod but I had to cover my mouth. I felt like I was gonna start throwin' up again.

"Well, forgive me if I don't take your word for it," daddy said to Merle, "The only way to settle this is for us to find out. She needs to take a test."

I was only half listenin' to daddy and Merle arguin'. My attention was on Rick and how he kept watchin' me and his grip on Merle's bag got tighter.

He must've saw me watchin' him 'cause he put his hand on daddy's shoulder.

"Hershel," Rick said, "She may need to take a test but I have a feelin' I know what's wrong with her."

They all turned their attention to Rick.

"I've been watchin' her since we found her and Merle," he said and opened Merle's bag, pulling out a couple needles and a pill bottle.

Everyone was silent.

"Oh my God, Beth!" Maggie shrieked and started towards me.

Merle stepped in front of me and held his hand up, "Hold on, ya ain't gon' be gettin' no pissy attitude with Sugar 'ere."

Maggie scoffed and slapped his hand down, "She's my sister! What the fuck did you do to her?"

Maggie started towards me but Merle blocked her way again, "Ya ain't fuckin' touchin' 'er, ya hear?"

Maggie drew her gun, "What did you do to my sister?!"

I grabbed the back of Merle's shirt and pressed my face into his back.

"He didn't do anythin' to me, Maggie," I cried.

* * *

 **Merle** -

Baby brother put his hand on tha gun Sugar's sister was pointin' at me.

"This piece of shit ain't worth it, Maggie," he said, "we should make 'im take 'is chances out there without any goddamn help from no one."

She lowered tha gun but tried ta get past me ta get ta Sugar.

"It ain't gon' happen," I told 'er.

They was all starin' at us an' then at Sugar when she started throwin' up again.

Mouse shook 'er head an' threw a box towards us an' walked off.

One by one they all started walkin' off. Tha last ones ta go was 'er daddy an' Officer Friendly.

"Bethie, you don't have to be like this. If you come inside with us, we can help you. Whatever is wrong, we can help. If it's the drugs, we can help you get clean. Just come with us."

Sugar didn't move an inch 'til Officer Friendly threw my bag down.

"Beth, I don't mind you bein' around Judith. I know you love her but I don't want you around her until you get off of whatever drugs you're on. And when you do, I don't want him around her at all."

He walked off an' left me an' Sugar standin' there.

"Hey now," I put my arms 'round 'er an' tried ta keep 'er from cryin' more than she was.

When she stopped 'er cryin', she looked up at me.

"I'm sorry, Merle."

"Ya ain't got nothin' ta be sorry 'bout, Sugar. I shoulda got ya off that shit sooner."

Sugar laid 'er head against my chest.

"Oh God," she whispered.

"What?"

I looked down ta where she was lookin'.

"Fuck! Do ya think ya need ta take it?"


	16. Chapter 16

**Merle** -

I picked up tha fuckin' box an' stared at it 'fore I looked back at Sugar.

I held it up, "Yer gon' take this."

"I don't need it, Merle."

"Ya sure?"

"No," she mumbled.

I put tha box in my bag an' slung it over my shoulder.

"C'mon, Sugar," I grabbed 'er arm an' pulled 'er away from the house.

We didn't need no one knowin' our business.

She was still shakin' when we got ta tha edge of woods.

I dropped tha bag an' handed 'er some water an' a couple pills. Maybe that'll stop 'er shakin'.

"Merle, can we wait? I don't want to take that test right now."

"Ya don't wanna take it? Why?"

"That's not what's wrong with me."

I told 'er we could wait but we wasn't gon' wait too long. Even if she wasn't pregnant, we needed ta know.

When we got back ta tha truck, 'er daddy was standin' there.

"I'm not going to let you sleep out here, Bethie. You need to come inside."

"Not without Merle."

Tha old man shook his head, "I'm afraid he won't be coming inside. But since that's your choice, here's a tent. I don't want you sleepin' in the bed of a truck."

He left without sayin' anythin' else to 'er.

We set tha tent up off ta tha side where no one could watch us without havin' ta stand damn near in front of it.

I ain't 'bout ta give 'em a reason ta make me leave so I'ma still go on night watch an' help 'em out 'round 'ere but I don't think Sugar should. Tha way they're treatin' 'er, she shouldn't do a fuckin' thing for 'em.

* * *

**Beth** -

Merle had picked the box up off the ground and it's been sittin' in the corner of our tent with our stuff for a week.

I don't think I'm pregnant but Merle won't let it go. He asks me everyday to take it.

I'm honestly afraid of what the results will be when I do take it.

Better do it now, I guess.

I grabbed the test, took it out of the box and put it in the back of my pants, where my shirt will cover it.

I unzipped the tent and stepped out, only to run into Maggie and Daryl.

"We want to talk to you, Bethie," Maggie said.

"And what if I don't wanna talk to you?"

"Too fuckin' bad," Daryl growled, "yer gon' talk ta us whether ya want to or not."

"Beth, listen. I know, well we all know, that Merle took care of you and Judith. He kept y'all safe and fed.."

"Ya don't owe 'im fer any of that shit," Daryl jumped in.

"I know I don't. That's not what this is."

"Is it the drugs? He seems to be keepin' you so full of whatever drugs he has you on. Is that what it is? Or do you think he loves you?" Maggie asked incredulously, "Do you love him?"

"I'm tellin' ya, Beth, Merle don't love no one but himself."

I shook my head at them, "Who said anythin' about this bein' about love or drugs?"

Maggie and Daryl both kind of stood there starin' at me so I walked off.

There's really no love involved, at least I don't think so. I do know that I feel safer with Merle than I do with my own family. He took care of me and Judith when no one else would.

I took the test but I didn't want to look at it, so I didn't. I carried it back to the tent and laid it on top of the box.

* * *

**Merle** -

When I got off watch, Sugar was asleep. She'd made us somethin' ta eat an' left mine out for me.

"Merle?" she mumbled.

"Yeah, Angel?"

She raised 'er head up, "I want Judith back."

"I know ya do."

After I ate, I got 'er some pills an' she took 'em. That's when I saw tha box fer that test was open.

"Ya pissed on that stick?"

She raised up again an' rolled 'er eyes, "yes, Merle. I pissed on it."

"So? Ya knocked up?"

"Don't know."

"What'd ya mean ya don't know?"

"I don't know. I didn't look at the test afterwards."

"Where's it at?"

"With the box," she yawned an' rolled over ta go back ta sleep.

I found tha test, read tha box an' sat down next ta Sugar. She was already asleep.

"Fuck," I threw that God damn thing an' rubbed my face.

She's fuckin' pregnant an' 'ere I am givin' 'er shit ta get high.

I stood up an' started throwin' my shit into a bag.

"Shit, shit, shit."

I took tha bag with pills an' other shit an' threw it on tha porch 'fore I started ta leave.

 


	17. Chapter 17

**Beth** -

I woke up to nothin' but the cold. Merle wasn't in the tent with me.

At first I thought that maybe he was just on watch or doin' somethin' around the farm. That's what I thought until I saw his stuff was gone.

I didn't bother putting my shoes on or changin' clothes, I just unzipped the tent and ran to the house.

It was still really early so I didn't expect anyone to be up unless they had to be but I wanted to know what the hell was goin' on.

One of Merle's bags was on the porch but before I could get up the steps, Carol picked it up.

"Give me that," I tried to take it away from her but she jerked it away, "Where is he?"

"Who? Merle?" she asked.

"Yes Merle! Who else would I be talkin' about?!"

"I..I don't know where he is, sweetie."

She looked like she wanted to say somethin' else but I ran back to the tent before she could.

I changed clothes and threw everythin' into my bag.

When I went to roll up the sleepin' bags, I found the pregnancy test and the memory of Merle askin' about it last night rushed into my head.

That can't be why he left. He promised me he wouldn't leave me. They had to have made him leave.

I dropped my bag and went back to the house. Everyone was on the porch eating breakfast, laughin' and talkin'.

"Why'd y'all do it?"

"Do what, Bethie?" Maggie asked.

"Why did y'all make him leave?"

"Ain't nobody made him leave. So if Merle left, it was 'cause Merle wanted to," Daryl said.

I shook my head, "I don't believe you."

"It's better that he's gone," Rick said, "he was putting you and everyone else in danger."

I turned away from them, picked up my bag and started walkin' down the driveway.

"Beth!" Maggie called after me.

"Bethany Michelle Greene, get back here," daddy called out but I wasn't stoppin' for them.

* * *

 **Merle** -

It took me tha rest of tha night an' all day 'fore I made it ta tha nearest town.

First thing I did was try ta find a car that'd run an' I did. Though it took some work.

There wasn't many walkers 'round as I walked through tha town. It seemed a lil' strange but I didn't think nothin' of it.

I remembered seein' a store 'round there that would have ever'thin' or most of what I was lookin' for.

Tha store didn't have no walkers in it which made it easier fer me ta get ever'thin' I could.

There was a couple more stores I went through 'fore I got to a small doctor's office. I was sure they'd have a few of tha things I was lookin' for too.

I had ever'thin' packed inta tha car 'fore I found another doctor's office.

I knew somethin' was up by tha lack of walkers but I guess I had too much on my damn mind ta pay enough attention 'cause soon as I opened tha door ta that doctor's office, I was knocked out.

When I came to, I was tied to a chair an' there was a woman sittin' on a desk in front of me.

"Do you know who I am?" she asked me.

"Naw an' I don't fuckin' care."

"Well you should care," she hopped off tha desk, "you killed several of my men."

"I've killed a lot of men. What makes ya think yers stood out?"

She hummed, "I'm Delilah. Does that stand out enough for you?"

Fuckin' hell. This bitch was tha one after my girls.

"Get him up," she motioned ta tha pussies standin' 'round 'er.

They untied me an' made me stand in front of 'er. Lil' bitch thinks they gon' make me do what they want.

"You're going to take me to your camp, give me the blonde girl and we'll call it even."

"What'd ya want 'er for?"

"For trade of course. There's some people in this new world that will trade anything for a young, pretty girl like yours."

"Too bad, Darlin'. She ain't with me no more."

"Oh, she's not. I find that hard to believe."

She flicked 'er wrist an' one of 'er men smacked me with tha butt of a rifle.

"Were any of you paying attention to which direction he came from?" I heard 'er ask 'fore I was hit again an' blacked out.

* * *

 **Beth** -

Daryl and Rick had ran after me and actually carried me back to the house.

I tried kickin', hittin' and screamin' at them but they wouldn't let me go until we were inside the house.

"Bethany," daddy said calmly and motioned for me to sit on the couch, "We did not send Merle away. If he left, he left on his own accord. The bag that was left on the porch, it has everything in it that you've been takin'?"

"I don't know," I sat there fightin' back my tears until Rick brought Judith in, then I couldn't stop cryin'.

"Bethie," Maggie sat next to me, "we want to help you. These drugs are makin' you sick."

"I'm fine," I said through clenched teeth.

"Ya really this upset 'bout Merle leavin'?"

I nodded, "I don't understand why he would leave me. He's not like y'all. He actually gave a shit about me and Judith."

Maybe he didn't care as much as I thought. He takes off after findin' out I'm pregnant, what other explanation is there?

I sat there without sayin' anythin' while they all talked and asked questions.

"Beth," they all called out when I ran out of the house to throw up.

"Beth," Carol touched my arm, "you're shakin'. Come back inside."

"No."

"When was the last time you had somethin'?" Rick asked.

"L..last night."

"C'mon then," he held out his hand, "come back inside and we'll give you somethin'. We're not goin' to give you as much as Merle has been giving you but it'll be enough to ease you through withdrawals."

I reluctantly took his hand. I thought there was no way they would give me anythin' but they did.

Then they all kept starin' at me though. It was like they thought I was sick and they could catch whatever was wrong with me.

"Can I go back to my tent?"

"You can stay in here, Bethie," daddy said.

"No, I can't. I'd rather be out there than in here with y'all."

Daddy took a deep breath, "Fine. But you need to realize we all care about you and love you. We want to help you."

I stood up, "That's bullshit! Y'all don't care about or love me or want to help me. You only care about yourselves. None of you even cared enough to take Judith with y'all. She was left at the prison like she didn't mean anythin' to y'all."

I stormed out of the house and over to the tent and cried myself to sleep.

* * *


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *This chapter takes place over several days.

**Merle** -

"This is only going to hurt you worse if you don't tell us where she is."

"Yer a sick bitch, ain't ya? I'll take ya to 'er though."

If I show these dumb fucks where Sugar is, they won't be thinkin' anyone's with 'er so ever'one there better be fuckin' ready.

"No, that won't be necessary. You'll tell us where she is but you're not goin' with us."

"Ya ain't gon' be able ta trade 'er."

"Why's that?"

"She's knocked up."

"Pregnant. Hmm...I'm sure I can use that to my advantage, somehow."

* * *

 **Beth** -

I wish Merle would come back. He's been gone for two days so really, I guess there's no chance of that happening.

Everyone here is treatin' me like some kind of animal, like a dog. They leave food for me outside the tent, though I suppose that could be my own fault because I don't want to be around any of them. At least Daryl, Rick and Tyreese said they're gonna go look for him.

I thought I was dreaming when I heard the zipper of my tent unzip but I realized I wasn't when someone grabbed my hair and jerked me up.

I wanted to scream but I felt a cold, sharp blade pressed against my throat.

"Scream and you're dead."

"Naw, don't reckon she'll be dead but you'll be if ya don't let 'er go," Daryl growled from behind the man.

He lowered the knife so it was resting against my chest but his fist in my hair tightened.

"Let 'er go!"

The man started laughin'. "She's gonna be dead no matter what you do."

I don't know what happened but the man dropped his knife and let go of my hair.

Before I turned around, I heard a grunt and then the sounds of someone dragging somethin'.

"C'mon," Daryl grabbed my arm, "there's more of 'em. Go inside an' send Rick out."

I nodded and ran inside, straight to Rick's room.

"D...Daryl needs you."

He handed Judith over to me before he went outside.

* * *

 **Merle** -

That Delilah bitch left two of 'er pussies ta watch me. It wasn't gon' take much ta get outta 'ere 'cause they was little fuckers. Jus' gotta find a way out first.

I whistled ta catch their attention.

"What do you want?" one of 'em asked.

"Need ta take a piss."

"Go ahead. We ain't stopping you."

Stupid fuckers.

* * *

 **Beth** -

Rick and Daryl brought the man into the house and waited for him to regain consciousness.

When he did, he woke up to Daryl's crossbow and Rick's gun in his face.

"How many more are with you?" Rick asked.

The man tried to sit up instead of answering but Daryl kicked his shoulder.

"How many more are with you?" Rick asked again.

"Two," he grunted when Daryl kicked him in his side.

"Why'd ya go after her?" Daryl asked him and pointed towards me.

"Delilah wants her."

Oh God! I almost cried out but I fought it back.

"What does she want with her?" Maggie asked.

"Trade."

"How did you know I was here?" I asked.

"That old fucker you were with before told us where we could find you."

"M..Merle? He told y'all?" I asked in disbelief.

I can't believe he'd do that.

I pulled Judith as close to me as I could when I walked out of the room. I didn't start cryin' until I got upstairs to my bedroom and I made sure the door was locked.

He leaves and then tells that bitch, whoever she is, where I am. How could he?!

"Bethie, can you open the door?" Carol asked from the other side.

I wiped my eyes and cheeks before getting up off the floor and opening it.

"Hey, sweetie. Are you alright?"

"No," I said quietly.

"Do you want to talk about whatever's bothering you?"

"No, I want to be left alone."

"Okay. I wanted to tell you that Daryl, Rick and Tyreese are goin' after that Delilah woman. She sent that guy and two others here to get you and bring you back to her. Apparently they have Merle too."

"Is that all you wanted?" I didn't care to hear anythin' about him.

"No," she sat down on my bed, "Bethie, I'm going to tell you the same thing I told Daryl. Merle's not good for you. Whatever happened between you two, it was going to end in disaster. I know you said you felt safer with him than us and I understand that, you were with him for so long. But, there was never going to be a happy ending."

"Get out."

"What?"

"You heard me, Carol."

* * *

 **Merle** -

That bitch has been actin' a lil' jumpy since 'er men ain't came back with Sugar. She ain't as in control as she wants 'em ta believe.

I'm gon' take a guess that if they ain't back soon, she's gon' lose 'er fuckin' mind.

Jus' when I's beginnin' ta think they'd actually got Sugar an' left me here for dead, I heard gunshots.

"Get up!" Delilah an' 'er men came bustin' in tha room, "you set us up!"

I ain't never hit a woman 'fore but when she came at me with a knife, I had ta stop 'er.

I twisted 'er arm 'round an' put my other one 'round 'er neck 'til she quit fightin' it.

"Do somethin', you fools!" She struggled against my arm ta get tha words out. I twisted tha knife outta her hand an' slid it across her throat.

Jus' then I felt a bullet rip through my right shoulder 'fore another one hit me in tha leg.

"Merle!"

When tha door swung open there was more shots an' screamin', then I saw baby brother an' Officer Friendly. They helped me up off tha floor an' outside.

"Where's Sugar?" I mumbled.

"Tha fuck ya wanna know where she is?"

"Did they get 'er?"

"No, they didn't get her. Daryl caught one of them sneakin' into her tent."

"Let's go. I got a car runnin' tha other day. We can take it."

"Ya ain't comin' back with us, Merle. We'll help ya get tha bullets outta yer arm an' leg but yer own yer own after that."

"What tha fuck, Darylina?"

"You sent those people to the farm. You were going to hand Beth over to them," Officer Friendly was in my face now.

"'Sides, we got their car. Don't need yers. An' Beth don't wanna see yer sorry ass no more."

They helped me get tha bullets out an' stitched me up.

"Ya ain't 'bout ta keep me from goin' back!"

"We sure as hell can. You're not comin' with us."

"Try ta fuckin' stop me."

I went over ta tha car I'd found an' leaned in ta get it runnin' again when somethin' poked me in tha back.

I straightened up, "I know ya ain't pointin' that thing at me, brother."

I turned 'round ta see all three of 'em had their weapons pointed at me.

"If ya come back ta tha farm, I'll kill ya myself," baby brother said.

"Now I jus' don't see that happenin'. I gotta get back there."

"No you don't. You've done enough damage," tha black guy said. Fuck if I 'member 'is name.

"Y'all ain't stoppin' me."

I took a step forward, lettin' tha tip of baby brothers bow poke me in the chest.

"Go on then. Only way yer gon' stop me from goin' back ta my girls is if ya kill me."

They al kept their weapons on me 'til Officer Friendly gave 'em a nod for them ta lower their weapons 'fore he got in my face again.

"If we let you come back with us, you're not allowed anywhere near _our_ girls. If you even speak Beth's and Judith's names, your on your own."

"That ain't gon' work," I told 'im.

"Ya heard 'im, Merle. Stay away from 'em."

"Naw, I gotta see 'em. I found some shit that'll help Sugar get clean."

Those must've been tha magic words 'cause they gave in an' went ta get into their car while I started mine.

* * *

 **Beth** -

I was on the porch swing rockin' Judy when two cars came flyin' down the driveway.

Rick, Daryl and Tyreese got out of the first one and Merle got out of the other one.

He started towards me but Daryl and Rick held him back. All three of them walked out of sight and when they came back, Merle looked pissed.

I passed Judith over to Carl who was sittin' next to me, and hurried down the steps.

"Merle!" I called out. He stopped and everyone that was outside turned their attention to us.

"Hey, Sugar," he still looked pissed off but his voice was calm.

"Don't 'Sugar' me. You left me! I'm pregnant with your bastard and you left me! You told those people where to find me!" I started hittin' him in the chest while I cried, "I hate you!"

I kept hittin' him even as he put his arm around me.

"Settle down, Sugar. I's never leavin' ya!"

"That's bullshit!"

"Naw it ain't. I may be a lotta things but I ain't gon' walk out on ya an' my kid. Look in tha fuckin' car!"

He pulled me over to the car and opened the door. The car was packed with baby stuff.

I looked over at him and he actually smiled.

"Ya still hate me?"

I shook my head but I was still cryin'.

He looked around at everyone watchin' us.

"Have ya told anyone yet?"

"No," I whispered.

"Good. Don't tell 'em jus' yet. I got ya some shit that'll help ya get clean. We ain't gon' be tellin' no one 'bout ya bein' pregnant yet."

"Beth," daddy started walkin' towards us, "Bethany, I need to speak with you."

Daddy stood in front of us, lookin' like he wanted to kill Merle.

"Rick ad Daryl mentioned you had somethin' to help her," daddy said to Merle, "once you hand it over, you can be on your way."

"What? Daddy, no! Merle's not leavin'."

Everyone was gathering around us now.

"Bethie, you were mad at him earlier and didn't want him around. What changed?" Maggie asked, "What has he done to you?"

"Ugggh! God, Maggie! Can you quit blamin' him for everythin'?"

"No," she huffed, "I can't. He's changed you and not in a good way."

Merle put his hand on the small of my back and gently pushed me away from the others.

"C'mon Sugar. Ya don't need ta worry with this shit."

I may have been mad earlier but I had been thinkin' that maybe they had all been right. I love knowin' they were wrong.

Nobody said anythin' to us as we were walkin' away which shocked me.

Once in our tent, I laid down facing away from Merle with tears still runnin' down my face.

I felt him against my back and then his hand on my face, wiping away my tears.

His hand moved down over my chest and stomach before slipping under my shirt. He rested his hand on my bare stomach with his thumb movin' in circles over it and his lips on my neck.

"I ain't meant ta hurt ya, Sugar."

I rolled onto my back and looked up at him. "I know but it still hurt, Merle."

He pursed his lips and nodded before movin' his hand on my stomach again and kissin' me.

* * *


	19. Chapter 19

**Beth** -

It's never easy hidin' somethin' from your family, especially one like mine but they've all been treatin' me differently, better than they were since Merle brought back whatever that stuff was to help me get better. That was almost six weeks ago.

I don't want them to go back to treatin' me like they were and I know that's exactly what will happen when they find out I'm pregnant.

That's why I asked Merle not to tell them. Well, that and I know they'll make Merle leave and they'll take Judy away from me again.

I can't lose them. Merle's still the only one I really trust.

Even though I asked Merle not to tell them about the baby, he told me he wouldn't at first then he agreed to wait two months before we told them.

That was something I was not lookin' forward to.

I smiled down at Judy playin' on the blanket next to me and picked up my journal. I flipped the page to the little makeshift calendar I've been keepin'. I realized then that it was gettin' closer and closer to the day we would tell everyone. I don't want to do that.

I felt tears starting to sting my eyes, then they slid down my cheeks.

* * *

**Merle** -

I've been keepin' a close eye on Sugar an' lil' Asskicker. I ain't lettin' either one of 'em outta my sight. From where I'm at at tha fence, I can see 'em sittin' by our tent. Asskicker playin' with 'er toys an' Sugar writin' in that damn notebook I got 'er on tha last run.

I shook my head while watchin' 'em. If it were up ta me, we would be sleepin' in tha house 'stead of outside but they don't want me sleepin' in tha same room as her an' Sugar don't wanna be 'round 'er family. Cain't say I blame 'er, though they ain't treatin' 'er as bad as they was. 'Sides, ain't neither one of us ready ta tell 'em she's knocked up yet so it's best we stay away from 'em when we can.

"Ya jus' gon' stand there starin' at Beth an' Asskicker all day or are ya gon' help get this fence done?" Baby brother asked.

"Ya better mind yer own fuckin' business, Darylina."

"They are my business. An' it don't help none that ya gone an' got Beth on drugs an' shit. What tha fuck else ya done to 'er?"

I turned to 'im then. "I ain't done shit to 'er. Y'all are tha ones who left 'er! Didn't give no shit 'bout 'er or Asskicker so ain't none of y'all got a right ta be actin' like y'all are."

"Fuck you, Merle. Ya don't know shit! Ya think it was easy leavin' 'em with yer sorry ass? How ya think ever'one felt when I told 'em I left 'em with ya? I had ta convince 'em that they was gon' be safe with you an' they wasn't. Damn near killed 'er."

"What's it to ya, Darylina? Huh?"

"They're they only family I got, Merle an' I ain't 'bout ta let yer sorry ass take this away. Beth's my lil' sister an' if ya fuckin' hurt 'er anymore than ya already have, I'll fuckin' kill ya myself."

'Fore either of us could say another word, we heard Asskicker start 'er cryin'.

Baby brother didn't pay it no mind but when I looked over at tha tent, Sugar wasn't there, jus' Asskicker.

I took off runnin' towards tha tent but I wasn't tha only one.

Officer Friendly, Sugar's sister an' mouse ran over too but tha others were watchin'.

"Where's yer mama, Angel?" I asked when I knelt down ta take off my prosthetic so I could pick 'er up.

"I'm right here," Sugar came walkin' out from behind tha tree lookin' pale as fuck.

"What are you doin' leavin' her alone?" Her sister yelled at 'er.

"She's fine, Maggie," Sugar told 'er.

"Sugar?"

Somethin' wasn't right when she looked at me then she collapsed on tha ground.

"Bethie!" Her sister screamed an' Asskicker's cries got louder.

Officer Friendly grabbed up Asskicker when I picked Sugar up. She was still breathin' but she looked sick.

I cain't believe how fuckin' long it was takin' 'er ol' man an' mouse ta look 'er over.

Tha whole time we was waitin', Asskicker cried. Couldn't nobody get 'er ta quit.

"She wants 'er mama," I told 'em.

"I really wish you would quit sayin' that," Mouse said when she came in, "Beth is not her mother so quit putting ideas like that in her head."

"Sugar ain't 'er mama? Well fuckin' excuse me! She's tha only one raisin' tha kid. 'Sides I don't see no one else havin' a problem with it."

"Merle," baby brother growled, "back off."

"How's Beth?" Maggie asked, gettin' 'tween me an' mouse.

"She's fine. Hershel thinks she's anemic. But she had...she took somethin'. Don't know what because she wouldn't tell us. She just said she felt like she had to do it."

I started ta walk past 'em ta go see 'er but 'er ol' man stopped me.

"She's resting. No one is going in there," he looked me dead in tha eyes, "especially you."

"We ain't doin' this shit again. Ain't no way yer keepin' me from 'er."

"I'm not trying to keep you from her. She asked that you not be allowed in there. And no one is going in there. She needs to rest," he told me.

"That's fuckin' bullshit!"

"Merle," Officer Friendly stood up an' took Asskicker from 'is boy, "let her rest and when she wakes up, you can be the first one in there."

I jus' nodded. What tha fuck was I supposed ta say?

I stood back an' watched 'em all try ta calm Asskicker down. They finally sat 'er down on tha floor but she didn't stop 'er cryin'.

"Hey there, Angel," I picked 'er up an' held 'er ta my chest like Sugar would've done.

They all looked at me like I had two fuckin' heads when she stopped cryin' an' laid 'er head on my shoulder.

I shifted 'er so I was holdin' 'er with my bad arm an' rubbed 'er back.

"Soon as Sugar wakes up in tha mornin' I wanna see 'er," I turned ta walk out tha door.

"Wait," Officer Friendly stepped forward, "just where the hell do you think you're goin' with my daughter? She's stayin' in here."

"Naw, she ain't stayin' in 'ere. An' I done told ya, I done told all y'all, she ain't yers. She's Sugar's."

"Let it go, dad," his boy told 'im.

I took Asskicker out ta tha tent with me. It took 'er a couple hours ta fall asleep but when she did, she fell asleep on 'er mama's pillow.

Wasn't no use in me tryin' ta sleep knowin' Sugar was in tha house sick. I laid down anyways 'til Asskicker woke up again.

I moved Sugar's pillow closer ta mine so she could go back ta sleep. When I moved it I saw one of Sugar's notebooks.

She'd showed me one where she was keepin' a calendar so I wasn't thinkin' nothin' of it when I looked in tha one that had been under her pillow.

She wrote a lot 'bout Asskicker an' how she had missed ever'one. I was 'bout a put it down when I saw tha let thing she'd wrote in it.

_Hey, it's me again._

_I've thought everything over and I've made up my mind. I can't have Merle's baby._

_I know what I have to do now._

_Beth_

What tha fuck?! What tha hell did she do?!

I sure as hell didn't get any sleep.

I's waitin' on tha front porch with Asskicker 'fore tha sun came up. I had ta get in there ta see Sugar.

"She's awake," mouse said when she opened tha front door, "leave Judith in the living room."

"Pushy bitch," I mumbled.

Her daddy was in tha room with 'er when I opened tha door. He looked over at me an' then back ta Sugar.

"I'll give you two a few minutes," he told 'er.

She nodded an' turned ta face away from me.

* * *

**Beth** -

I had told daddy and Carol I didn't want to see Merle, to not let him come in the room.

I couldn't look at him. I wasn't really ashamed of what I had done, I guess I should have been but I wasn't. I just didn't want to see him, the look on his face. He was going to be pissed but I hope he would understand.

"What'd ya take, Sugar?" Merle finally asked me.

"I don't know," I told him.

He was silent but I could hear him movin' around. I closed my eyes, hoping he'd leave soon.

I felt a heaviness on the bed in front of me, when I opened my eyes Merle was sittin' there with my journal in his hand.

"Ya mind tellin' me what tha fuck this is?" He asked quietly. Too quietly for Merle Dixon.

"It's nothin'," I told him.

He stood up and tossed the journal onto the bed.

"Did ya do it?"

I blinked away the tears that were threatening to escape.

"Merle," I whispered, "I told you I didn't want a baby. Judith's enough. I don't want to punish an innocent baby by making them live in this world. I did what I had to do."

His fist clenched, his shoulders squared and there was a look on his face that I'd never seen before.

"What're ya sayin'? Were ya tryin' ta kill yerself?"

I shook my head no as the tears finally started to fall.

"I'm sorry, Merle."

His face distorted in anger.

"Naw, ya ain't sorry. Ya fuckin' bitch! Ya killed my kid! That was my kid, too! Ya had no fuckin' right ta do what ya did," he yelled at me.

I squeezed my eyes shut again until I heard the door slam shut and someone yellin' in the other room.

* * *

**Merle** -

I slammed tha door ta 'er room an' slammed my fist inta tha wall in tha hallway. I cain't believe she fuckin' did that shit. 'Specially without tellin' me.

Soon as I walked into tha livin' room, baby brother an' Officer Friendly was pushin' me out tha door.

I stumbled down tha steps when I felt a sudden blow ta tha side of my face.

"She tried ta kill 'erself 'cause of you," lil' brother yelled in my face, "get tha fuck outta here an' don't ever come back!"

"She wasn't tryin' ta kill 'erself ya lil' shit!"

"What was she doin' then? Tryin' ta get away from you?"

I threw myself at 'im. They all think I'm some kinda fuckin' monster that she'd wanna kill 'erself ta get away from me.

Baby brother hit tha ground but got up 'fore I could an' kicked me. When I got up, my fist immediately connected with 'is face. I couldn't stop hittin' 'im.

He grabbed my shirt an' started yellin'.

"What'd ya do to 'er, Merle? Huh? Why does she wanna kill 'erself?"

"She was havin' my kid!" I shouted. I's sure it went unheard though 'cause Darylina drew back again.

Next thing I knew, we was bein' pulled away from each other an' we was both covered in blood.

"Daryl, Merle, both of you need to calm down right now!" Sugars ol' man was standin' in-between us, "Calm down, both of you!"

"What is the problem here?" He asked after we were far enough away from each other.

"Beth tried ta kill 'erself 'cause of somethin' that piece of shit did to 'er," baby brother told 'im.

I shook my head an' ran my hand over my face. I was tryin' my damndest not ta be a pussy but I cain't believe what she did. 'Sides baby brother, that kid was gon' be tha only blood I had.

"Merle? Are you alright?" Someone asked, I wasn't sure who.

"She wasn't tryin' ta kill 'erself!"

Officer Friendly stepped forward, "If she wasn't tryin' to do that, then what was she tryin' to do?"

I grabbed 'im by tha collar of 'is shirt. "She killed my kid!"

"Wh...what?" Sugar's sister came over to us, "Beth is... Beth was pregnant?"

* * *

**Beth** -

I hate what I've done. I hate that I hurt Merle but I didn't think he'd react that way. I thought he'd be relieved. Guess I was wrong.

The door creaked open but I didn't roll over to see who came in.

"Bethie?" Maggie said and sat down on the bed. "Look at me, Bethie."

I rolled over and closed my eyes.

"You're...you were pregnant?"

I nodded.

"Oh Bethie," she whispered, "what did he do to you?"

I opened my eyes, "What?"

"I'm just glad you did what was right, Bethie. I mean, you did what you had to do to get away from Merle. I'm proud of you."

I sat up and covered my mouth, tryin' not to throw up on her.

"This wasn't to get away from Merle! I just didn't want to bring a child into this world, Maggie!"

She scoffed and stood up. "He has you so messed up, Bethie. You don't even know it. He...he's brainwashed you or somethin'!"

"Get out, Maggie."

After Maggie left, there was a steady stream of people comin' in and out of the room. They all kept askin' me how I was feelin' and if I needed anythin'.

I needed to get away from them but I had nowhere to go. I can't even go to Merle now.

I sat back up and looked around. I know I did somethin' stupid.

Just as I was putting my boots on, the door opened again and daddy, Carol and Maggie came in.

"Sit down, Bethie,"daddy said.

I sat down and watched them carefully. They were actin' like they didn't want to make any sudden moves or do anythin' to scare me.

"Bethie," Carol sat den next to me, "when we brought you in here yesterday, we didn't see any signs that you lost the baby. We're not sayin' that you're still pregnant but maybe you weren't pregnant to begin with. Would you be okay with me and Maggie examining you?"

"I've told them what to look for," daddy said in assurance, "we even sent Glenn, Michonne and Daryl on a run for anythin' that could help us."

I nodded.

"Okay then," Carol said as daddy left the room.

* * *

**Merle** -

Their looks didn't bother me none. They can all think what they want to.

Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if she did this 'cause one of 'em found out an' told 'er to. Could've been any of 'em but she wasn't gon' do that shit on 'er own.

"Son, may I have a word with you?"

When I didn't say nothin' tha ol' man sat down on tha step next ta me.

"There seems to he quite a bit we don't know about you and my daughter, what kind of relationship the two of you have. I have more than a few reasons to doubt your intentions with her and your ability to care for her and this incident has shown me that my reasons are true..."

"Believe whatever tha fuck ya wanna believe but I ain't gotta sit here an' listen ta this shit," I told 'im.

"Now, just hear me out. I know what I'm sayin' isn't something you want to hear but you need to hear it."

"Go on then."

"I do not think you are the man my daughter should be with but for some reason, and I'm not going to speculate what that reason is, she feels safe with you, she trusts you and wants to be with you and seeing how you reacted today, I understand a little more. There has to be a reason why she tried to abort your child, Merle. Was this something you both wanted?"

I knew what he was thinkin', same as tha rest of 'em so I shrugged, "Thought it was. Guess I was wrong."

He nodded an' looked at me for awhile. "Why did you react so strongly to what happened?"

"Ain't really none of yer business why. That's 'tween me an' Sugar."

"Fair enough but she's still my daughter. Maybe you should go in there and talk things over with her. But after this, she will be staying in the house and away from you. Do I make myself clear."

"Yeah. Fuck it."

* * *

**Beth** -

Carol and Maggie examined me as best they could but they were quiet, only askin' me about what I was feelin' here or there.

I saw them lookin' at each other and whispering until Maggie finally nodded at Carol and left the room.

Carol patted my leg and sat down next to me when she was finished.

"Beth," she said nervously, "is there anything that's happened that you need to tell me?"

"No," I whispered.

She looked down and took my hand in hers. "There's some scars on the inside of your thighs, Beth. I need you to be honest with me. Did Merle rape you?"

"God no! He didn't. Why would you think that?"

"It's just," she shook her head, "I know men like him, Beth."

"Get the hell away from me, Carol. Merle is nothin' like your husband was. What I did had nothin' to do with Merle. I did it because I didn't want to bring a baby into this world. In the old world before...before all of this I would've thought a baby was a blessing but in this world it's not."

"You really feel that way?" She asked.

"Yes!"

"Okay," she nodded and stood up, makin' her way to the door. "Maggie and I will make another run after the others return. We'll get you somethin' to end the pregnancy."

"What? I'm...I'm still pregnant?"

She nodded again, "From the signs Hershel told us to look for, yes. You're still pregnant."

I laid back down and curled up and started cryin' again.

I must've gone to sleep 'cause when I opened my eyes the sun wasn't shinin' into the room.

I got up and made my way into the livin' room. Those who weren't on watch were sittin' in there watchin' Judy play on the floor.

They didn't notice me until Judith looked up and started movin' her arms around for me to pick her up so I did but I didn't say anythin' to anyone.

I held her close as I walked outside. I could feel them all watchin' me.

Walkin' around the house, I saw Merle on top of the windmill keepin' watch. He looked at us when Judith started fussin' but he quickly looked away.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to no one.

I didn't mean for this to happen, for Merle to be mad or whatever about what I did. I thought he'd be relieved, that he didn't want it either. He wouldn't have to deal with me or a baby. He wouldn't have that responsibility.

I was wrong. So fuckin' wrong!

 


	20. Chapter 20

**Beth** -

"Beth?" Someone whispered and shook me. I couldn't do anythin' but groan and pull the covers over my head.

"Beth, wake up," Carl said while pulling the covers off of my head, "I wanna talk to you."

"Right now?"

"Yeah, right now."

I groaned again and sat up.

"What do you want to talk about?"

He shrugged, "Are you really havin' a baby with Merle?"

"I guess. Well, yeah but...God! I don't know."

"He's been keepin' Judy"

"He has?"

"Yeah. No one really likes it but he's good with her."

I smiled, "He is good with her."

"He calls you her mama. Carol told him not to do that and when he carried Judy out to the tent with him, dad kinda got mad. I didn't see anything wrong with it 'cause she only wants you and him."

"Carol was right. I'm not her mama."

"Yes you are. You're not our mom but you're the only mom Judy has. You and Merle had her for a long time. She knows y'all." He hung his head and mumbled, "I'm sorry we left you."

"Don't be."

"We thought y'all would find eventually find us but after a few months, Maggie thought maybe somethin' had happened. Daryl tried to tell everyone y'all were fine but...but we kinda gave up on y'all," he hung his head again.

"Carl, this isn't your fault. You have nothin' to be sorry for. But I think they do," I sighed, "Why would your dad have given up on Judith?"

"I don't know," he shrugged and looked down.

There was a knock on the door before it opened. It was Carol and Maggie and neither of them looked too happy.

"Carl," Carol said, "go outside. We need to speak to Beth."

"Yes ma'am," he said, hurrying out.

"Okay, Bethie. We're goin' to examine you again and try to see what's goin' on with the baby," Carol said.

I nodded and watched as they set things up on the table next to the bed before telling me to lie down under the sheet.

I just laid there and let them do whatever they needed to until I felt the sheet move off my stomach and something cold replace it. I jumped a little at the feeling.

"It's alright, Beth. We're just goin' to do an ultrasound," Carol told me as Maggie lifted up a small machine.

"It's portable. Midwives used them," Maggie shrugged.

A few minutes later they were tellin' me everythin' was fine. The baby seemed to be okay and there was nothin' to worry about.

I sat in there alone for a little while after they left until it felt like the walls were closing in on me and I couldn't breathe.

I slipped on my boots and ran out of the house. Tears filled my eyes as I rounded the corner of the house and ran straight into someone.

I looked up to see it was Daryl and if it wasn't for him holdin' me up, I would've fallen to the ground.

"What happened, Bethie?" He asked, "Did Merle do somethin' to ya?"

I shook my head and cried harder. He just put his arms around me and held me close to him while I continued to cry.

"They raped me," I whispered into his chest.

He pulled away and stared at me. "Christ! What tha fuck? Who raped you, Beth?"

"Mer...Merle...he tried to stop them but it was too late."

He put his arm around my shoulder and led me over to the side of the house where we both sat down on the ground. He didn't say anythin', he just listened to me cryin' and tellin' him what happened that night with those men.

"It's not Merle's fault. None of it is," I cried, "it's mine. The baby, the drugs, it's all my fault, Daryl."

"What'd ya mean?"

"Whatever it was they gave me, Merle tried to help me. He didn't want to give me anythin' but I asked him to. It hurt so bad. And I know I hurt the baby because of it."

* * *

 **Merle** -

I was waitin' fer someone ta tell me how Sugar was but no one bothered to. Wouldn't even let me go in ta see 'er. Jus' 'cause she killed my kid don't mean I hate 'er. I ain't gon' hurt or nothin'.

I started walkin' towards tha house ta see if I could talk to 'er when I saw 'er sittin' there with my baby brother. Two of 'em sure looked fuckin' cozy together.

I clenched my fist an' walked on past 'em ta get ta my tent ta get my shit. Tha only reason I've stayed her is 'cause of my lil' brother an' Sugar an' I'll be damned if I'ma stay an' watch whatever shits goin' on. Don't none of these fuckers want me here anyway.

"Merle?" Sugar had followed me but was standin' outside of tha tent. "Can we talk?" She asked.

"What tha fuck ya wanna talk 'bout?"

She flinched 'fore she climbed inside tha tent.

"I'm still pregnant, Merle. Carol and Maggie, they said the baby seemed to be fine. I didn't kill our baby."

"Don't fuckin' call it that! It ain't our baby. I tried ta fuckin' help ya an' you went an' tried ta kill it!"

She started cryin' an' moved ta crawl out.

"That's right. Go on an fuckin' run. Go tell 'em some shit 'bout me or whatever tha fuck ya wanna do. Go on an' cry ta my brother. My own God damn brother!"

She turned 'round an' stared at me like she wanted ta kill me.

"I can't believe you think I would do that! I don't believe any of the shit they say about you so why would I go tell them shit? And Daryl, he's my brother too! He's the only one out of them that knows what happened to me! He knows it's not your fault. And you're fuckin' sick for thinkin' whatever the hell it is you're thinkin', Merle."

I chuckled at that. "Sick? Ya think I'm fuckin' sick? I jus' saw you an' that pussy! An' ya tried ta kill yer own kid. Yer tha one that's fuckin' sick, Sugar."

"I'm sorry, Merle. I really am. I'm sorry for everythin'," she looked 'round tha tent an' got some of 'er stuff. "I'll have the baby if you want it but otherwise we're not your problem anymore. You can leave if you want or you can stay. But you don't have to help me, ever again."

I took me a minute ta calm down an' realize what she'd said an' ta go after 'er. She said she'd have tha baby if I wanted it.

"Whoa, Sugar," I grabbed 'er arm an' pulled back inta tha tent.

"You ain't gon' be doin' nothin' stupid so drop yer shit. I don't give a damn what anyone says, yer stayin' in 'ere with me."

She jus' stood there holdin' 'er stuff.

"Ya hear me?"

"Yes," she nodded.

"Then why ain't ya movin'?"

"This isn't right, Merle. I shouldn't be in here. You hate me," she looked up at me. 'You just accused me of bein' with Daryl, of tellin' people shit when you know none of that's true. I trusted you, Merle. I was wrong to do that."

"I ain't accusin' you of nothin', jus' got pissed 'cause you an' ever'one else ain't tellin' me shit," I stepped closer to 'er an' watched as she flinched away from me. "Sugar, ya know I ain't gon' hurt ya. Jus' tell me why ya did it. Why'd ya try ta kill tha kid?"

* * *

 **Beth** -

I could see he was still angry. No matter what I said, he was goin' to stay that way so I stayed silent.

"Jus' tell me why tha fuck ya did it!" Merle raised his voice a little.

"Why do you want to know? We're nothin', Merle! Me and you, it doesn't mean anythin'," I couldn't keep from laughing. It was stupid of me to think I could apologize and tell him how I feel. This is fuckin' Merle Dixon I'm talkin' to.

"You tried ta kill my kid!" He yelled.

"But I didn't, Merle! I said I'm sorry!" I started cryin', "That's the only reason you want me, isn't it? Because it's your kid? Well, fuck you! I don't need you."

I huffed when I stepped out of the tent and saw everyone standin' on the porch. They were all gettin' a good show.

"Get yer ass back 'ere!"

I didn't look back as I took off runnin' towards the barn that was being built.

* * *

 **Merle** -

"C'mon, Sugar. I ain't playin'. We're gon' sort this shit out now!" I called out to 'er when I reached the barn.

"Sort what out?" She yelled, steppin' out from one of tha stalls. "You don't get to treat me like this! I made a huge fuckin' mistake, Merle. I get that. Believe me, I do! You haven't let me forget it. Maggie and daddy haven't let me forget it. No one has! Even your own brother thinks I made a mistake by doin' that and he thinks I shouldn't be around you! Why is that, Merle? You gonna leave again, for good, when I have the little bastard?"

"It ain't like that, Sugar. How many fuckin' times I gotta say that?"

"Until we both start believing your lies!"

I stood there starin' at 'er for a bit 'fore I started walkin' away. There wasn't no use in arguin' with 'er anymore. Don't even matter how much it hurt ta hear 'er say that shit. I know it ain't no fuckin' lie but them fuckers done messed with 'er head 'til she's believin' ever'thin' they tell 'er 'bout me.

I stopped after a few steps an' turned back 'round ta see she hadn't moved. "Yer wrong, Sugar. It ain't jus' 'cause yer pregnant with my kid an' ya best start seein' that."

'Fore I could turn back 'round, she fuckin' threw 'erself at me.

"I'm so sorry, Merle," she was cryin' again, "Please don't hate me."

"I cain't ever hate ya, Sugar. I jus' don't understand why ya wanted to do that shit. Is it 'cause it's mine?"

"No," she shook 'er head, "I'm just scared. What if somethin's wrong with the baby because of the drugs? What if somethin' happens to me like it did with Lori?"

"I ain't gon' let nothin' happen to ya. Ya hear me?"

She nodded an' pulled on my shirt again.

"Gon' have ta tell me what ya want, Sugar."

"I want you, Merle," she said, pullin' me into a stall.

She stepped away from me an' took 'er shirt off then 'er pants. All I could do was stand there an' watch 'er as she bent over the table an' wiggled 'er perfect lil' ass.

She shivered when I ran my hand up an' down 'er back then over tha small swell of 'er stomach an' down to 'er pussy. She moaned an' pushed back against me.

I pulled away from 'er, "Not 'ere, Sugar."

"What? Why the hell not?"

"Take a look at all tha shit in 'ere. I ain't 'bout ta let nothin' happen to ya."

If she wanted ta do that I ain't gon' argue, but I ain't gon' do it in this death trap stall. Jus' tole 'er I ain't gon' let nothin' happen ta her an' our kid. I helped 'er get 'er clothes on 'fore kissin' 'er an' draggin' 'er outside. I 'member her sayin' somethin' 'bout a pond on 'er property that no one knows 'bout.

"You remembered this?" She asked when we got ta the pond.

I nodded 'fore kissin' her again an' backin' 'er up against a tree, bringin' my hand up an' under her shirt, feelin' tha rise of 'er stomach 'fore goin' ta 'er tits. Her nipples were already hard an' she moaned when I pinched 'em.

"Quit teasin' me, Merle!" She whined.

I smirked. "Well, Sugar. Ya know ya gotta tell ol' Merle what ya want."

She shook 'er head an' pulled 'er shirt off an' bit 'er lip. I knew what she wanted an' as stubborn as she is, she ain't gon' tell me.

I reached out an' rubbed my thumb over her nipple then bent down an' took tha other one inta my mouth.

"Merle," she sighed an' put 'er hands on tha back of my head, holdin' me closer to 'er.

She whimpered when I pulled away from 'er tit an' went ta work on tha other. She gasped an' pulled on my shirt.

"Merle," she whispered.

"Hold on now, Sugar. Ya know I'm gon' take good care of ya."

She shook 'er head an' moved 'er hands down ta my belt an' unbuckled it. I kissed 'er as she finished undoin' my pants an' reached inside an' pulled out my dick. I watched 'er lower 'erself to 'er knees. She leaned forward an' flicked 'er tongue out.

"Fuck," I groaned an' leaned forward against tha tree. It's a good fuckin' thing we ain't in tha barn or our tent 'cause Sugar ain't never sucked my dick 'fore.

"Shit," I twisted my hand in 'er hair an' pulled 'er off me, "get tha rest of yer clothes off, Sugar."

She stood up an' took 'er clothes off but jus' stood there. Without any of 'er clothes on, I could see how much 'er stomach had grown. She tried ta cover 'erself an' started cryin'.

"C'mon, Sugar. What tha hell's wrong?"

"What are we doin'?" She asked.

"What tha hell ya think we're doin'?"

"We can't do this," she whispered.

"Hey, look at me." I put my arms 'round 'er an' held 'er as close ta me as I could. "What happened today is over an' done. I ain't ever gon' leave ya or hurt ya. I need ya, ya hear me? Yer mine. Even if we wasn't havin' a kid, ya'd still be mine."

She smiled an' leaned up ta kiss me. I picked 'er up as best I could an' laid 'er down on tha ground an' got between 'er legs. I leaned over 'er an' kissed her neck, down 'er chest to 'er belly. I raised up ta see she had 'er eyes closed 'fore I leaned down an' licked at 'er pussy. She gasped an' pushed my head down more.

I ran my tongue up 'er slit 'fore flickin' it over her clit, makin' 'er hips jerk up an' I pushed in two fingers. Her moans got louder as I gave 'er clit a hard suck an' she clenched down on my fingers. I waited 'til she came down 'fore I rubbed the head of my cock back an' forth over 'er pussy an' pushed into 'er an' I started fuckin' 'er slowly.

"Oh God, Merle, fuck me harder," she moaned an' pushed against me. I pulled out an' slammed into 'er.

My thumb found 'er clit an' she moaned again as I pounded into 'er over an' over.

"Merle!" She cried out an' I felt 'er clench 'round my dick an' dig 'er nails inta my back.

"That's right, baby girl. Merle's takin' good care of ya," I groaned an' kissed 'er neck as I released into 'er.

I rolled off of 'er onto my back an' closed my eyes 'til I heard 'er cryin' again.

"Fuck," I groaned an' sat up, "What's wrong, Sugar?"

She wiped 'er eyes an' looked up at me. "Nothin'."

"I ain't buyin' that shit. Now tell me what tha fucks wrong."

"You said I'm yours but are you mine?"

I started laughin' an' pulled 'er up inta my arms. "What tha fuck do ya think, Sugar?"

"I don't know," she shrugged, "I'm still confused about what we are."

"Ain't nothin' ta be confused 'bout. Ya want a ring or somethin'?"

She looked up at me an' smiled.

"No. I just want you."

* * *

 **Beth** -

Merle and I stayed out by the pond until after it got dark.

We didn't say much while we were out there but despite what we did and what he said, I know he hasn't forgiven me for what I did and I don't blame him.

He put his arm around my waist as we walked back up to the house. Everythin' seemed to be quiet until we got closer and could hear Judy cryin'.

Merle laughed when we saw Rick standin' by our tent with Judy.

"Mama," she cried out.

"Well, well, well," Merle let go of me, "told y'all Sugar was that girls mama an' she knows it too."

Rick ignored Merle and turned to me. "We can't get her to stop cryin'. She's been cryin' for you, Beth. Would you mind takin' her for the night."

I nodded. "Sure. I'd love to."

Rick handed me her bag and then her over to me but she didn't stop cryin'. Instead, she reached her chubby hands out to Merle.

"Mer. Mer," she cried for him. He took her from me and bounced her a little before she laid her head on his shoulder.

Merle smirked at Rick as he carried Judith into the tent.

Rick rubbed his face and shook his head. "I give up," he said and walked off.

After we, or should I say Merle, got Judith settled down for the night I curled up next to Merle with my head on his chest


	21. Chapter 21

**Beth** -

A wave of nausea woke me up sometime before sunrise. I was able to ease out of the tent without wakin' up Merle or Judith.

When I crawled back inside the tent, I tried goin' back to sleep but I couldn't so I just sat there with my knees pulled up to my chest, listening to Judith's light breathin' and Merle's snores. I couldn't keep myself from smilin' as I watched them sleep.

Judith was asleep on Merle's chest and he had his hand on her back. They both looked so peaceful. I didn't want to disturb them.

"What ya lookin' at, Sugar?" Merle mumbled without opening his eyes and makin' me jump.

"N..nothin'. Just watchin' y'all. She loves you."

He mumbled somethin' else as he shifted and laid her on the blankets next to him.

He watched her for a moment to make sure she wouldn't wake up before he looked at me.

"Ya look like shit, Sugar. What ya doin' up this early?"

"I feel like shit. I got sick, been throwin' up."

Merle just nodded and rubbed his face then he reached over to his bag and pulled out a package of crackers and tossed them to me.

"Eat a few an' it'll help ya."

I did as he said but it didn't make me feel any better. I think some of what's wrong isn't just bein' pregnant. My nerves have me on edge and it feels like butterflies in my stomach and this silence wasn't helpin'.

"They raped me," I muttered.

Merle's head snapped up towards me. "What?"

"Those men. That night. They raped me."

I expected him to get angry since I had lied to him. He'd asked me if they did and I told him no. But instead, he just nodded and looked back down.

"You knew, didn't you?"

"Yeah. Wasn't no way I couldn't know. I was there, Sugar, 'member? They made me watch. When I asked ya an' ya said didn't nothin' happen, I didn't say nothin' but I should've. I shouldn't have let ya think I didn't know."

"I didn't want you to know. I didn't even want to know."

"Ain't no excuse, Sugar. You was jus' hurtin' yerself an' I let ya."

I scooted closer to Merle and he pulled me into his lap.

"I ain't never lettin' nothin' hurt ya. Not even yerself, baby girl."

I buried my head in his chest and tried not to cry but I did anyways.

"What's wrong, Sugar?"

I pulled back to look at him and he wiped the tears off my face.

"Why did you leave me Merle? Did you leave because I'm pregnant? Or because you didn't want me?"

His right arm tightened around my waist as he brought his left hand up to cup my chin.

"Wasn't none of that, Sugar. I want ya an' our kid. I left ta get some shit fer you an' tha baby. Didn't mean ta make ya think I'd left ya. I wouldn't do that."

"Why did you tell those monsters where I was?"

"Knew you was gon' be looked after. There's a lot of people 'ere, Angel, an' they ain't gon' let nothin' happen to ya."

"You don't know that," I mumbled and laid my head back on his chest.

"Angel, I need ya ta tell me why ya wanted ta kill tha kid," he said after a while.

I shrugged. "I told you already. I was...I am scared. What if somethin' happens to me? Are you goin' to raise the baby or who will? They were all right, ya know."

"Right 'bout what?"

* * *

**Merle** -

She shrugged when I asked 'er what she was talkin' 'bout then she got up an' started changin' 'er clothes.

"Ya ain't gon' tell me?"

"I don't think I have to. I'm goin' to move back into the house with Judy."

"What tha hell?"

"After last night, I realized that that's all we'll ever be. You don't love me and I don't love you. We were alone, that's all it was."

She picked up Asskicker an' their bags an' climbed out of tha tent.

Don't know what tha fuck Sugar was talkin' 'bout but I ain't 'bout ta try ta stop 'er.

Baby brother was waitin' outside tha tent when I stepped out. He jus' glared at me an' motioned fer me ta follow 'im.

* * *

**Beth** -

From my bedroom window, I watched Merle and Daryl walk off towards the woods.

"Bethie?"

"Not now, daddy?"

"Bethie, we need to talk about you and Merle and...and..."

"The baby?"

"Yes."

"There's nothin' to talk about, daddy, there's nothin' between us. I'm stayin' in here from now on."

"That's good, Bethie, but there's still so much more we need to discuss."

"Like what? Like how naive I am? How big a fool I am to believe Merle Dixon actually gave a shit about me?"

"Language, Bethany!"

I groaned and rolled my eyes. "Seriously? That's what you're goin' to complain about?"

Daddy shook his head and raised his hands up. "Whenever you feel you can talk calmly and maturely, Bethie, come find me."

* * *

**Merle** -

"You an' Bethie really together or ya jus' fuckin' 'er?" Baby brother asked.

"Thought ya didn't like talkin' while huntin'?"

"Jus' answer tha fuckin' question, Merle!"

"I ain't jus' fuckin' 'er but if that's all she wants, I ain't gon' argue with 'er. Why ya askin'?"

He shrugged, "Don't want 'er ta get hurt, don't want you ta hurt 'er. She thinks tha world of ya, Merle. At first, I thought it was jus' 'cause you was with 'er fer so long but it ain't. She really cares 'bout ya an' if you don't care 'bout 'er, then ya need to go 'head an' end it. Tell 'er ya don't want 'er or tha baby."

"Who tha fuck said I didn't want 'er or my kid?"

He turned 'round an' lowered 'is bow.

"I know you, Merle. You're gon' get bored with 'er an' hurt 'er. That's what ya've always done. You've always fucked girls a few times an' then leave 'em. What ya gon' do when ya get tired of 'er? Huh? Ya ain't got nowhere ta run an' ya sure as hell ain't gon' be able ta stay 'ere."

If I hadn't been pissed I would've fuckin' laughed at Darylina right then. That's what tha hell my own fuckin' blood thinks of me.

"I'ma tell you what I told her, baby brother, I ain't leavin'. An' ya best not say no more 'bout that."

He scoffed at me. "I'll fuckin' believe it when I see it."

* * *

**Beth** -

I haven't talked to Merle in almost two weeks now. You'd think that would be impossible since we're all stuck here but it's really not that hard to avoid anyone. Even if they try to talk to you.

"Here's her bottle," Rick said as he handed it to me and leaned down to kiss Judith's head. "You feelin' alright? "

"Yes sir."

He nodded and I watched him walk away.

I've been wantin' to ask him why he gave up on Judith but I haven't found the courage to do it yet. I can see the guilt in his eyes when he looks at her. I just wonder why he feels guilty.

"Ya gon' let me hold 'er?"

I jumped a little when Merle spoke up.

Without waiting for my answer, he lifted her out of my arms and held her to his chest and sat down on the couch next to me.

I didn't say anythin' or look at him.

"Ya jus' gon' ignore me?" He asked.

I shrugged but I still didn't look at him

"Aight. If ya ain't talkin' ta me then maybe you'll listen ta what I have ta say."

I turned to look at him and stood up to walk away. I didn't want to listen to him either.

He didn't try to stop me as I walked away and out of the front door.

I kept walkin' until I was at mama and Shawn's graves and sat down beneath the tree with my hands on my stomach.

I cried. Probably more than I ever have before but I needed to do that.

I felt Maggie sit down beside me and wrap her arm around my shoulders before I saw her.

When I opened my eyes, she was starin' straight ahead at the graves.

Slowly, she turned to look at me and wrapped her other arm around my shoulders too. I didn't hug her back.

"Bethie," she whispered, "I'm so sorry for everythin' we've put you through. I'm sorry we didn't come look for you sooner."

"It's too late for apologies, don't ya think, Maggie?"

"Maybe but you have to understand somethin', Bethie. We didn't give up on y'all as easily as you think we did." When she pulled away and saw I was starin' at her, she continued. "When Daryl found us, he was hurt badly and was out for awhile. He did his best to tell us where y'all would be and when looked for y'all. Michonne, Tyreese and myself went to the cabin. We followed Daryl's directions and when we got there, there was a herd of walkers swarming the cabin. We waited them out and when we went inside, we found blood. We knew y'all had been there. There were dirty diapers, some clothes that were your size. We thought y'all were dead, Bethie. We really did. My first thought was that Merle had done something to y'all, something bad."

"How'd y'all find us if you thought we were dead?"

"Daryl. When he woke up, he asked if you and Judith were alright and where his brother was. We told him about the cabin and what we found but he didn't believe y'all were dead. He wanted to look for y'all right away but he was hurt so bad that daddy wouldn't allow it. So, when he healed up, he went to the cabin himself. It took him awhile but he finally found y'all. Well, he found Merle. He said the first few days he watched Merle but didn't see any sign of you and Judith so he came back here. Daddy wanted to know what happened to y'all, we all did. That's how we found y'all. I wasn't expectin' you to walk out of that trailer that day. I had hoped you would but I didn't think you would. And then...then I saw you were wearin' his shirt and I immediately thought he had hurt you. Even if he kept you alive, I thought he had done somethin' to you. And in a way, I guess he did, didn't he?"

"No, Maggie, he didn't. He didn't hurt me, not how you think."

"What do you mean 'not how I think'?"

I let out a deep breath and closed my eyes. "I'm confused, Maggie. I don't know what he wants from me. I think he just wanted someone to fuck. He doesn't care about me. I thought I cared about him but the last time we were together," I shook my head and stood up. "It's stupid. Probably just my hormones," I said with a laugh.

I didn't know how to explain what I was feelin' to Maggie. I couldn't even explain it to myself.

"What are doin' to yourself, Bethie?"

"Nothin'."

"You're hurtin' yourself by thinkin' of him. Just forget about him. You have us, your family, to help you. That's all you need."

* * *

**Merle** -

Sugar wouldn't even look at me when I took Asskicker from 'er earlier. Wasn't nothin' I could do ta get 'er ta talk to me. She ain't said nothin' ta me in weeks.

"You made her cry," tha Sheriff's boy said from behind me.

"Yeah, boy. Ya think I don't know that? Cain't make 'er listen ta me long enough ta apologize."

"Apologize? Didn't think you'd apologize for anything," he said an' looked down at Asskicker. "Maybe you should tell her you love her. I mean, if you do. Whenever my mom and dad would fight, he'd always tell her he loved her and then they'd be okay until the next time."

"Yeah," I mumbled.

He sat down but didn't say anythin' else, jus' sat there an' watched Asskicker fall asleep. When she did, I carried 'er upstairs ta Sugar's room an' laid 'er down on tha bed then laid down beside 'er.

It wasn't long after that when I heard Sugar's footsteps on tha stairs an' tha bedroom door openin'.

She stopped a few feet from tha bed an' didn't move 'til I turned over an' looked at 'er.

"What're you doin' in here?" She asked.

"Brought Asskicker up 'ere ta sleep."

"Okay, but that doesn't explain why you're still in here."

I sat up an' threw my legs over tha side of tha bed. Sugar took a step back when I did that.

"I ain't gon' hurt ya," I told 'er.

"I know. But I still don't want you to touch me."

"Damn it, Sugar. What tha hell did I do? What ya pissed 'bout?"

She looked down at 'er stomach then back up at me.

"I don't want to be someone you use, Merle. I'm not a doormat and I won't be treated like one. You fuck me but there's nothin' in your eyes when you do. You just...you look at me like I'm nothin' more than that, than someone you fuck," I stood up an' was gon' try ta say somethin' but she stopped me. "No, Merle, I get that you aren't like other guys, that you're not goin' to hold my hand or whisper how much you love me in my ear. You're not the husband type, I get that but I expected a little more than what you've done. You could've at least pretended to feel somethin', to show some kind of feelin's for me but you haven't and you won't."

"Ya done talkin' now?"

"Yeah," she nodded.

"Good. 'Cause yer wrong, Angel. I ain't usin' ya. Ya ain't jus' someone ta fuck. Ya hear me?"

"I'm not wrong, Merle. You don't love me and you never will."

"I guess I don't love ya if I got ya this," I held up a ring I'd gotten 'er on a run after talkin' ta baby brother.

I could see 'er hands start shakin' an' she wasn't breathin' right.

"Sugar, ya alright?"

"Yes. I...I'm fine," she gasped out an' started cryin'.

_Shit!_

"Shh. C'mon, Angel." I pulled 'er to me. "Hush now. Yer gon' wake up Asskicker."

"I...I can't...why'd you get me a...a ring?"

"I ain't gon' be tellin' ya this all tha damn time but I want ya ta know, I do love ya. I ain't never loved no one before but you an' that baby are mine an' I love y'all an' Asskicker too."

I tried ta calm 'er down when 'er cries got louder but it wasn't workin', she jus' kept cryin'.

Her bedroom door opened an' 'er old man stepped inta tha room.

"Bethie, what's the matter?"

She wiped 'er tears then covered mouth ta try ta keep from cryin' more.

After watchin' 'er for a minute, he turned ta me, "Merle, I think it's time you leave."

"No, daddy," Sugar said, shakin' 'er head.

"Yes, Bethie. He has to go. He's hurt you enough."

"I ain't hurt 'er."

Her old man jus' stared at me with tha same look ever'one's always given me an' it pissed me off.

Sugar grabbed my arm when I stepped towards 'im.

"Daddy," Sugar held out tha ring I'd jus' given 'er.

He looked between us an' tha ring an' shut tha bedroom door.

"Bethany, can I have a word with Merle?"

She looked at me nervously.

"It's aight, Angel."

She nodded an' leaned up ta kiss me.

* * *

**Beth** -

I was nervous about daddy and Merle talkin' but I was a little excited.

Merle Dixon had just given me a ring and said he loved me. How could I not be excited?

My momentary happiness disappeared when Maggie, Daryl, Rick and Glenn walked into the livin' room.

They all stared at me as if they were waiting for me to grow another head.

"What?" I finally asked.

"You're smilin'," Glenn replied.

I hadn't been aware that I was.

Daryl cleared his throat and stepped over to me.

"Can I...um...can I talk to ya, Bethie?"

"Yeah," I nodded and followed him out of the room.

When we were alone, he turned to me but he kept his eyes down.

"Merle gave ya tha ring, didn't he?"

"Yeah. You knew about it?"

"I's with 'im when he got. Only damn time I've seen Merle nervous when he wasn't waitin' for some test results."

I shook my head. "That's kind of gross."

"Yeah, well, you're tha one fuckin' 'im, Beth."

"Daryl, I know Merle..."

"No. Ya don't know Merle, Beth. Ya ain't known 'im fer very long. Ya don't know what he's like."

"Jeez, Daryl. Could you quit playin' the older brother for five seconds and just be my friend? I know Merle wasn't a good guy but all those months alone with him, I had to trust him. I had to trust he'd keep me and Judith safe even though I didn't want to. But once I did, I saw he wasn't as bad as everyone thought. He is a bit of a dumbass at times but he's not as bad as you and everyone else thinks he is. He's different."

"Ya really think it's gon' work with 'im?"

"I don't know if it will or not but I'm willin' to try and if Merle is too, then I don't see he harm in it."

Daryl nodded and looked at me. "Aight. I'ma stand by y'all then. But only if this is what ya want."

I started cryin' again. Maybe harder than I was when talkin' to Merle.

"Damn girl. Ya really are pregnant, ain't ya?"

I laughed a little but I as still cryin'. "It just means so much to me that you said that."

"Alright, alright. Quit yer cryin', Bethie."

Daryl put his arm around my shoulders as we walked back into the livin' room.

A few minutes later, daddy and Merle came down the stairs.

"Bethie," daddy motioned for me to follow him and Merle. When the three of us were alone in the kitchen, daddy turned to me and shook his head. "Now, Bethie, you know I don't exactly agree with this situation but after talking with Merle, I have had a bit of a change of heart. Merle is moving into the house and will be allowed to stay in your room but, and I cannot stress this enough, if anythin' happens, he's out. Do you understand?"

"Yes daddy."

"Good. Now, Merle, why don't you go get your stuff moved inside before dark."

Merle nodded and grabbed my hand.

"C'mon, Sugar," he said, pullin' me along.

I was happy but I couldn't shake the feelin' that things were goin' to go wrong. When Maggie sees Merle bringing his stuff up to my room, she's goin' to flip out and so will the others despite daddy and Daryl bein' on our side.

* * *

**Merle** -

Nobody said anythin' when I carried my shit up ta Sugar's room. I suppose 'er old man done talked to 'em an' told 'em ta keep their mouths shut.

Nothin's better than watchin' my girls an' knowin' I'm close to 'em an' can keep an eye on 'em.

It's only been a few hours since I've been inside with ever'one an' I can already feel a shit storm brewin' from tha looks they're givin' me. 'Specially Sugar's sister an' Officer Friendly.

"Merle, can you help me?" Sugar asked.

"What ya need?"

"Every time I put Judy down, she starts cryin' so I need you to hold her while I go fix her a bottle."

"Sure."

I took Asskicker out of 'er mama's arms an' followed 'er downstairs.

Ever'one stared, Officer Friendly tensed up an' was itchin' ta do somethin'. Kinda thought he was gon' shoot me when his hand went to his gun, guess he didn't want ta miss an' hit Asskicker.

"I can take her now," Sugar said, reachin' out fer Asskicker.

I handed 'er over an' watched Sugar sit down ta feed 'er. Tha others were still watchin' but they wasn't hoverin' like I thought they'd be.

Officer Friendly took a step towards my girls an' I took one towards him.

"It's you an' me have us a talk," I told 'im.

He nodded silently an' walked out tha back door.

"Merle?"

I looked down at Sugar 'fore I followed 'im out. "I ain't gon' hurt 'im 'less he gives me a reason to."

He was packin' when I stepped out.

"You can't keep me from my daughter just because Hershel is lettin' you stay inside now!" He shouted.

I grabbed tha front if 'is shirt an' pulled 'im close to me.

"Ya listen 'ere, those are my girls an' I'll keep 'em from ya if I want. You want 'er, then ya need ta step tha fuck up an' quit actin' like a bitch. 'Til then, don't you go near 'em or you're dead. Ya got it?"

I let go of 'im an' went back inside 'fore he could say anythin'. I knew when he did, I'd kill tha fucker.

Jus' when I walked inta tha house, I heard Sugar an' 'er sister yellin' at each other an' Asskicker was cryin'.

"You can't be with him, Beth!"

"I can if I want to!"

"If you want to?! Do you really want to be with him? After everythin' he's done? Do you think that just because he gave you that...that ring, that he cares about you?"

"Hey!" Baby brother shouted over 'em. "He cared 'nuff ta get 'er a ring. He picked it out 'stead of gettin' it off a fuckin' walker like Glenn did for you! An' he ain't forcin' 'er inta nothin'. If she wants ta be with 'im, she can."

They was all quiet after that 'till Asskicker started cryin' again. I picked 'er up off tha floor an' motioned for Sugar ta follow me upstairs.

When we was layin' in bed later that night, Sugar laid 'er head on my cheat an' was cryin'.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothin'," she raised 'er head a little an' looked up at me, "I know you said you weren't goin' to say you love and you don't have to but sometimes, when we're alone..."

"I'll tell ya, Sugar." I pulled 'er head up ta mine an' kissed 'er. "I'll even show ya."

She giggled when I trailed my hand down 'er back an' then under 'er shirt. She pouted when I jus' started rubbin' 'er back.

"Not tonight though," I grinned. "Don't want no one hearin' ya on my first night in tha house."

She sighed an' rolled away from me, "Guess you're right but you could rub my back. I am pregnant with your kid after all."

* * *

**Beth** -

I was jokin'. I didn't really think Merle would start rubbin' my back for me but he did as best he could. It was good enough I fell asleep.

I felt Merle's body jerk beside me but I didn't open my eyes until Judy started cryin'. That's when I saw Merle wasn't in bed anymore. I didn't know what time it was but I figured it was time for his shift.

I lifted Judy and propped her on my hip while I got her a clean diaper and some wipes.

The bedroom door swung open just as I was lifting Judy off the bed after changin' her diaper.

"Get yer shot, Sugar. We gotta go," Merle said.

"What? Why?" I asked as he grabbed our emergency bags out of the corner of my room and threw my boots towards me.

"We jus' gotta, Sugar."

Merle led me out of the back door and into the woods before he'd allow me to stop and look back at the house.

I felt my heart sink in my chest and I started throwin' up.

"We can't just leave them, Merle."

"We have to," he said, tuggin' my arm.

But I couldn't follow him. All I could do was stand there and watch as the Governor put a gun to Carl's head and another man put one to Michonne's.

I felt Merle's lips on the back of my neck. "We cain't do nothin' ta help 'em an' I ain't riskin' yer life."

Judy started squirmin' and I knew she was close to cryin' so I nodded and followed Merle deeper into the woods.

Once again, we had to leave our home.

 


	22. Chapter 22

**Beth** -

After Merle threw a few pieces of wood on the fire, he knelt down next to me and ran his finger over Judith's cheek as she slept in my arms.

"Cain't believe ya finally got 'er ta sleep," he whispered.

"You doubtin' my motherin' skills?"

He chuckled. "Naw, I ain't. She jus' been cryin' so damn much. Didn't think anythin' would get 'er ta settle down."

I smiled softly as Merle leaned back on the log I was sittin' against and tugged at me until I finally crawled in his lap with Judy still against my chest.

His good arm was around my waist, holdin' me close to him while his bad arm rested on the ground since he was still wearin' his prosthetic.

"I want to go back," I whispered, tryin' not to cry as I laid my head against his chest.

"We cain't do that, Angel, an' you know it. You heard all tha racket they was makin'. It's been 'bout four days now so tha place is probably swarmed with walkers. 'Sides, I ain't lettin' either of ya get hurt."

When Judy started squirming in my arms, Merle kissed the top of my head and then hers.

"Lay 'er down in that sleepin' bag an' try ta get some rest," he whispered.

I eased out of Merle's lap, tryin' not to disturb Judy, and over to the sleepin' bag to lay her down. Once we were both inside the sleepin' bag, she settled back down.

* * *

**Merle** -

I watched both of my Angels sleepin'.

Couldn't believe they was still here an' Sugar was still willin' ta be with me after all tha shit that's happened.

I let 'er get raped. I got 'er hooked on fuckin' drugs. I fucked 'er an' got 'er pregnant. An' wasn't none of it what she wanted.

I ruined that lil' girls life but I'll be damned if I don't love 'er.

I ain't told 'er jus' tha thought of losin' 'er, Asskicker an' that baby scares tha shit out of me. Hell, bein' a dad scares tha shit out of me but not as much as losin' 'em does.

"Merle," Sugar whimpered as she sat up an' crawled inta my lap an' put 'er head on my shoulder aagain.

"Ya feelin' aight, Sugar?"

She shook 'er head an' I laid my hand on 'er stomach.

"We ain't got nothin' ta help ya, Sugar."

"I know," she whispered.

I rubbed 'er stomach fer awhile, hopin' she'd start feelin' better though I knew it wouldn't help none.

"Merle?"

"Yeah, Sugar?"

She pulled 'er head off my shoulder an' looked at me.

"Thank you for gettin' me and Judy out of there. You're all we have."

"Ya ain't gotta thank me, Sugar. Y'all are mine an' I ain't gon' let nothin' happen ta y'all."

She leaned closer an' kissed me. "I love you, Merle. And I'm glad you were there. Can I ask you somethin' though?"

I nodded an' kissed 'er neck.

"Why did...why do you want our baby so much? I mean, what I did, I...I'm sorry I did that. And...," she leaned closer ta my ear, "you're not your dad. Daryl told me he was scared you'd be like him but I know you're not. You're a good man, Merle, and I love you. Our baby is lucky to have you."

"Ain't nothin' ya gotta say sorry for, Angel. An' there was a time I'd say Daryl was right but I ain't nothin' like him. I wouldn't ever lay a hand on you, Asskicker or this baby but if someone tried ta hurt y'all, ya best believe I'ma hurt 'em. I'ma kill 'em."

She smiled an' laid 'er head back on my shoulder an' sighed.

"I'm scared, Merle. I'm scared of what kind of mother I'll be. I don't know anythin' about havin' babies."

"Yer gon' be a good mama. Ya already are ta Asskicker, ain't gon' be much different with our own. 'Sides, I know a thing or two an' I'ma be right here with ya."

* * *

**Beth** -

I raised back up and looked at Merle curiously. He knew a thing or two?

"What do you know?" I asked.

"Well, I ain't stupid, Sugar."

"I know you're not, Merle, and I know you practically raised Daryl but what do you know about havin' babies?"

"This ain't gon' be my first kid, Sugar."

My eyes widened and I felt like I was goin' to throw up but when I tried to get out of Merle's lap, he pulled me closer.

"Listen ta me, Sugar. I know what ya thinkin' but it ain't like that."

"Then what's it like, Merle? You had kids before and you never told me. Daryl never told me."

"I didn't have kids 'fore, Angel, an' Daryl don't know. I got a girl pregnant when I was sixteen. Her mama an' daddy convinced 'er I's gon' be jus' like my daddy, that I wasn't no good for 'er so she got rid of tha kid 'fore I could show 'er I wasn't like 'im. I read all tha damn books an' made sure I knew ever'thin' I could 'bout havin' a kid. I ain't keepin' nothin' from ya. Jus' ain't never told nobody that."

"How...how'd she get rid of it?"

He shrugged, "Gave it up after tellin' me I wasn't tha kids dad. Shoulda known 'cause she wasn't like you, she fucked nearly ever' guy that looked at 'er."

I felt sorry for Merle but I didn't say anything, I just kissed him and laid back against his chest.

With him here with us, I know we'll be safe.

I woke up the next mornin' curled up to Merle with Judy in between us. Merle wasn't asleep though. He was wide awake, lookin' around.

"What are you thinkin' about?" I asked him.

He grunted and sat up. "Thinkin' we gotta find us a place. Somewhere that'll be safe for you ta have tha kid when it's time."

"We could go back to that trailer. We were safe there."

"Naw, we cain't go back there. Ain't no kinda protection an' you's gon' be screamin' an' bleedin'. That's jus' gon' attract those damn things. We gotta find a place with some kinda fence or somethin'."

We sat in silence until Judy started squirming around.

"We gotta keep movin'," Merle said as he stood up and picked up Judy.

* * *

_**Three months later...** _

**Merle** -

"Merle, slow down," Sugar called out ta me an' I stopped ta wait on 'er ta catch up.

She's a lot bigger now an' cain't run as fast as she could 'fore but she's holdin' 'er own. Been keepin' Asskicker safe when I ain't close but I ain't been leavin' 'em much anymore, not even ta hunt.

I held out my hand ta help 'er over a fallen tree then we started walkin' at tha same pace.

"Ya need ta stop?" I asked 'er.

"No," she smiled an' shook 'er head, "I'm fine, Merle. For now anyway."

"Ya better let me know when ya feel like we need ta stop. Don't want ya gettin' hurt or nothin'."

"I'm fine, Merle. Really." She said as she reached over to brush Asskicker's hair out of 'er face. "I can carry her."

"Not a chance in hell, Sugar."

She rolled 'er eyes an' kept walkin'.

* * *

**Beth** -

We've spent a lot of time walkin' these last few months since the farm was attacked, again.

Judy's growin' so much. It hurts to think Rick and Carl haven't been here to see her grow. No matter what had happened with Rick or the others, a girl needs her father. But Judy has Merle. He's been more of a father to her than Rick has.

I've been thinkin' back to the last few weeks at the farm before the Governor showed up and I think I finally understand what Rick was goin' through but that's still no excuse.

"Angel?" Merle whispered and held a finger up to his mouth, stopping me from walkin' any further.

I saw the herd of walkers before Merle could point them out.

There were at least twenty of them. They weren't headed for us but it wouldn't be long before they caught our sent and turned our way.

He handed Judy over to me and told me not to keep walkin' then he pointed for me to go right.

I held Judy close and walked as fast as I could without stopping.

Once I thought I was far enough away from the herd, I turned around to Merle but he wasn't there.

My heart began to beat fast than it had been so I leaned against a tree and tried to keep myself from panicking.

After a moment, when I felt I had calmed down some, I started walkin' again.

That's when I heard a gunshot and Judith started cryin'.

"Shh, Judy. Papa's fine," I whispered as I bounced her in my arms.

There were a few moans from close by then I saw the walkers stumblin' towards us.

* * *

**Merle** -

I didn't know where tha gunshot had cone from but it was close.

Tha herd I'd been tryin' to distract an' lead away from my girls, all turned towards the sound.

I took off runnin', dodgin' a couple of 'em when they lunged at me.

I went back ta where I'd last seen Beth an' followed 'er tracks.

I figured she wouldn't get very far 'fore she'd have ta stop but she got further than I thought.

When I caught up with 'er she had 'er back against a tree an' 'er knife in 'er hand. Asskicker was tucked into 'er side, clingin' to 'er an' cryin'.

I's proud of 'er when I saw 'er plunge 'er knife into tha skull of a walker an' pull it out without movin' from 'er spot an' keepin' Asskicker close.

I got closer an' snuck up on two walkers that was headed for 'em, buryin' tha blade on my prosthetic into one an' pushin' tha other one ta tha ground.

"C'mon," I said an' grabbed 'er arm. We took off runnin' as best we could 'fore more showed up.

"Was that you?" She asked when we stopped.

"What?"

"Did you fire that shot?"

"Hell naw. But it wasn't that far off," I said as I took Asskicker from 'er.

Sugar got a look in 'er eyes, one she'd gotten right after we had ta leave tha prison an' then tha farm.

"It could be them," she whispered.

"It ain't."

"You don't know that!" She shouted with tears in 'er eyes. "It could've been Daryl or Rick or maybe Carl or Maggie. It could've been them!"

"It ain't none of them. They ain't stupid enough ta do that."

She jus' stared at me for a minute 'fore she wiped at 'er eyes an' stormed off.

"C'mon now, Angel. Ya know as well as I do they wouldn't risk it."

She glared back at me an' stopped walkin'.

"I just wish we knew, Merle."

"I know ya do, Angel."

* * *

**Beth** -

Merle walked over to me and put his arm around me, lettin' me bury my face in his chest.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Ain't no need ta be sorry."

I raised my head and smiled at him.

"Yes there is. I shouldn't have gotten mad at you. I know you're just protectin' us," I leaned up and kissed him, "and it's your turn to change Judy's diaper."

He mumbled somethin' and handed her to me while he shrugged off the backpack with her things and dug out a diaper before takin' her back.

I turned my back to them, lookin' around to make sure nothin' was close.

"Yer Mama's mean," he muttered to Judy. She giggled and squirmed around, makin' it harder on Merle to change her diaper.

I smiled and put my hand on my stomach. "Just wait until this one gets here."

He grinned at me and lifted Judy up when he had finished.

"Let's get outta here," he said and nudged me along.

We kept goin' for four days, only stoppin' when it was necessary. Merle wanted to put as much distance between us and whoever fired that gun.

I had Judy layin' down beside me while I boiled some water with a couple handfuls of dry beans and Merle was out huntin'.

Judy started giggling and reachin' her arms up for Merle when he came back.

"Got a couple squirrels an' cleaned 'em. Think ya can cook 'em while I take a siesta? "

"Yeah. See if you can get Judy to take a nap, too."

Merle picked her up and laid down with her on his chest. It didn't take either of them long to fall asleep.

I went on with fixin' our food and keepin' watch.

When the food was done, I leaned back against a tree and ate a little.

I looked up at the stars and wished I could see everyone again. I wouldn't trade bein' here with Merle and Judy for anythin' but sometimes I wonder if they're alive and if they are, are they lookin' for us or have they moved on like they did before?

It doesn't matter now anyway. We'll never see them again.

Merle woke up a few minutes later and handed Judy off to me without sayin' a word then hee walked off towards the bushes. I knew it was time for us to leave so I packed up our stuff and when he came back, he kicked dirt over our fire and grabbed our things.

He helped me up then picked Judy up and handed her to me and pointed in the direction he wanted to go.

We were quiet as we walked, not sayin' anythin' to each other but somehow I found that I had grabbed his hand and was holdin' it. He didn't try to pull away or mumble to himself and that made me smile. I smiled even more when he tightened his grip on my hand and turned to look at me and Judy with a grin.

Merle Dixon definitely wasn't the man everyone thought he was. He's so much better than that and I can finally admit that I love him and I'm sure he loves me, even if neither of us say it.

A couple hours after we had started walkin', the sun started to rise and I could see we were headed towards a clearin'.

"Merle, so you know where we're goin'?" I asked after we had walked through the clearin'.

"Naw. We jus' gotta keep movin', Angel. Do ya need ta stop?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Just for a little bit though."

"Aight. Let's see if we can find a good place ta rest fer an hour."

We quickly found a spot to rest so I could feed Judy, eat and use the bathroom myself. While I fed Judy, Merle went to look around.

* * *

**Merle** -

I didn't go too far from my girls, didn't want 'em ta be left alone but I had ta make sure we wasn't headed fer a herd or anythin'.

I knew I'd heard water runnin' when I found us a place ta stop earlier so I was lookin' fer it. It be good fer us ta refill our water bottles an' maybe tha girls could take a quick wash off.

When I found the creek, I's surprised ta see a lil' shack nearby. It wasn't nothin' special, roof looked like it would fall in if ya looked at it but 'least it had four walls. That'd be good enough fer us.

* * *

**Beth** -

"Say Papa, Judy," I said as I bounced her on my lap.

She giggled and clapped her hands together.

Since we left the farm, she hasn't talked anymore. I miss hearin' her call me "Mama" and, even though he won't admit it, I know Merle misses bein' called "Mer" whenever she wants him.

Just as Judy started bouncin' and flailing her arms, I heard some rustlin' in the woods behind me. I stood up and grabbed my knife.

"It's only me, Sugar," Merle's voice called out.

I lowered my knife when he appeared and Judy practically jumped out of my arms towards him, makin' him smile.

"Pack up tha stuff," he said as he went around makin' sure I didn't miss anythin'.

I carried Judy while I followed him through the woods to a creek.

"I'ma go across an' carry our stuff then I'll come back an' get y'all. Aight?"

I nodded and watched as he waded throught the creek to the other side and sat our bags down then made his way back over to us.

"Give 'er ta me an' hold on ta my arm," he said before leadin' me across the creek.

I groaned at how uncomfortable my wet clothes were when we reached the other side but Merle couldn't stop smilin'.

I furrowed my brows and looked at him suspiciously. "Merle Dixon, what's goin' on?"

He just told me to follow him and I did until he stopped in front of an old shack.

"What ya think, Angel?"

I shrugged and looked at him then back to the shack.

"I done checked it out an' ain't nothin' inside. Tha inside looks a hell of a lot better though."

"Well, show me," I said and grabbed his arm as he led me to the front porch.

When he opened the door, I was quite surprised to see how different the interior looked from the exterior. It wasn't exactly clean or beautiful or anythin' but it was better than sleepin' outside.

I found myself smilin' when I saw that Merle had moved and had sat Judy down on an old mattress in the corner of the room.

I moved to sit in the recliner that was next to the mattress and sighed.

"This is like heaven," I muttered to myself.

"Sure is," Merle replied as he stood up then knelt down next to the chair and put his hand on my stomach. "I's thinkin' we might could stay 'ere for awhile. 'Least 'til Junior comes."

"She will not be named _Junior_ , Merle."

"We already got one girl, we ain't havin' another. 'Sides, Dixon's don't have girls, Angel."

"How do you know that? Did you have a son before?"

Merle stood and clenched his fist at his side.

"Ain't talkin' 'bout that," he mumbled and sat down on the mattress with Judy who was now asleep. I watched him take off his prosthetic before he laid down next to her.

I rubbed my hands over my stomach and looked around at the little shack we were in.

"Well, baby girl," I whispered, "daddy found us a place to stay."

When I heard Merle's snore, I smiled and got up to lay down next to him and Judy.

This was home. For now anyways and hopefully it would be for a while.

 


	23. Chapter 23

**Beth-**

I'm not sure exactly how long we've been here but my guess is close to two months now.

We've made ourselves a nice little home. Sure, it's not much and we still have to be careful because of the walkers but it's our home. Merle has made it our home.

Since we've been here, Merle has only left a handful of times. Each time he left, he brought back more than I expected him to. But now that I'm closer to havin' the baby, he stays here as much as he can, and when he does leave he's never gone longer than a couple of hours.

One of the first things Merle did was fix up the two small bedrooms this place had. Of course he couldn't fix them up that much but he made the bigger of the two rooms into a comfortable place for the three of us to sleep and for me to have the baby. The other room, he's been doing his best at stockpiling it full of supplies, everything from clothes to baby toys and other necessities. He seems to think we'll be able to stay here a while. I hope we will be able to but I know not to put all of my faith on it.

We've been lucky so far. A couple weeks after we got here, Merle went on a run and came back with some planters, potting soil, and some vegetable seeds. We'll have some tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots, bell peppers and squash in no time. It's not like we'll have a huge garden or anything, it's just some flower pots and planters on the porch but it's better than nothin'. We've talked about it and if we're here long enough, I'll start canning the vegetables once they come in so we'll have some food saved up. He even managed to get the well and pump fixed so we would have runnin' water in the house. It only needed a few minor adjustments and the water is freezin' cold but it's still runnin' water, we just heat it up on the wood stove that was here to bathe or cook.

I sighed and looked over at Merle and Judy. He was layin' on the floor, lettin' her crawl all over him and it made me smile.

I won't lie, I love it here. I miss our family but I love being with just Merle and Judy and soon the baby. But Merle has done his best to make this our home and for that I'm grateful. He's really takin' care of us.

* * *

**Merle-**

Sugar was sittin' in that damn recliner again doin' some kind a knittin' or some shit.

She'd gone on 'bout wantin' ta make a blanket fer tha baby an' told me what she needed. After I brought it back to 'er, she ain't quit. It's lookin' good though.

Sugar an' Asskicker both giggled when Asskicker pounced on me an' I groaned. Asskicker smiled an' clapped 'er hands together like it was tha funniest thing she'd seen.

"Be careful old man," Sugar laughed.

"Yeah, yeah," I mumbled as I sat up.

Sugar went back ta workin' on that blanket an' Asskicker crawled inta my lap. She was clappin' 'er hands together an' smackin' 'er lips.

"Mama," I whispered. "C'mon baby girl, say Mama."

* * *

**Beth-**

I smiled to myself as I listened to Merle tryin' to get Judy to say Mama.

I wish she would but she still won't say anythin' like she was doin'. She gurgles but not much else. Sometimes I wonder if it's because she knows I'm not her mom and because her dad and brother aren't here.

"Quit thinkin' too much," Merle whispered in my ear, then he kissed my cheek.

"I'm not thinkin' too much."

"Yes, you was. You been sittin' here starin' at tha wall an' not doin' nothin' fer a couple minutes."

"Oh," I muttered.

He kissed my cheek again and pulled back from me so we were face to face.

"You feelin' alright, Sugar?"

I nodded. "I'm fine, Merle."

"Alright." He reached down to pick Judy up and put her in the playpen he had found.

He kissed my forehead this time and stood back up. "I'ma go out fer a lil' while. See if there's anythin' in tha snares. Y'all gon' be alright 'til I get back?"

"We'll be fine, Merle. I promise."

"Sugar, if somethin' happens…."

"Merle, I remember the calls you taught me. I'll let you know if somethin' happens and you do the same."

He didn't say anythin', just held his hand out to me and helped me stand up then leaned down and lightly kissed my lips.

"Merle Dixon, quit your worryin'. We'll be fine until you get back," I put my hand on his chest and gave him a little push. "Now go get your girls some food."

He grinned. "Yes ma'am."

Judy gurgled and whimpered when Merle shut the door behind him but I quickly picked her up and carried her to the bedroom.

It was the safest place in this shack and that's where we would stay until Merle came home to us.

* * *

Carl coughed and rubbed his hands together as he sat near the fire.

"Don't get too close," Daryl mumbled to him.

"When are we movin' again?" Carl whispered hoarsely.

"Soon as yer fever breaks," Daryl replied, handing him a cup of hot coffee.

They sat in silence for a few minutes before they hear a twig snap. Carl reached for his gun but Daryl stopped him.

"It's jus' a walker," he told the boy.

"We should take care of it."

"Naw. Jus' keep quiet an' it won't come near us."

Carl sipped on his coffee and waited a moment to make sure they didn't hear anything else from the walker before asking, "Do you think we'll find 'em?"

Daryl looked up at the boy and shrugged.

"I don't know."

Carl nodded. He knew that looking for Merle, Beth, and his sister was probably the last thing they should be doing right now but they were the only family they had left and he had to believe they were still alive, they were out there somewhere.

* * *

**Beth-**

I hummed to myself while I worked on the baby's blanket and watched Judy sleep in her playpen.

I was getting' nervous at how long Merle had been gone now but I knew I shouldn't worry. He'll be back soon.

At least that's what I was hoping.

I had just dozed off a little when I heard footsteps on the front porch. Judy cooed and reached out for me to pick her up.

There were two knocks and a whistle before the doorknob rattled and the door opened.

"Sugar?" Merle called out as he shut the door.

"We're in here."

It seemed like it only took him two steps before he was in the bedroom with a look of panic on his face.

"Thought I told ya ta be lockin' that door up."

"I'm sorry, Merle. I didn't think you'd be gone as long as you were."

Judy stood up in her playpen, holding on to the edge, and cooed at Merle.

The panic left his face for a moment as he smiled at her.

"We got two rabbits. Tha rest of the snares weren't touched though. I'ma get cleaned up an' cook 'em for us. Ya got anythin' ta go with 'em?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "There's still a few good potatoes and some cabbage you got from that greenhouse. I could cook the meat with those, maybe make us a stew or somethin'."

"Naw, ya ain't cookin'. I can fix us somethin' up. Jus' stay in 'ere with Asskicker an' rest some."

He didn't give me a chance to object before he stepped out of the room.

I could hear him throwin' logs into the wood stove, then I heard the water runnin' in the kitchen sink.

There wasn't much more I could do than stay in the room with Judy and try to get a few minutes of sleep.

* * *

**Merle-**

After I cleaned the rabbits, I got some water warmed up ta wash off 'fore I started fixin' tha food.

Somehow I've managed ta get carry tha pots back an' forth ta tha bathroom fer us to bathe in. Sugar kept insistin' she could do it but I told 'er there was no way in hell I's lettin' carry pots of boilin' water in her condition. She'd jus' stick out 'er lip an' pout but she knew that wasn't gon' change my mind.

I'd jus' gotten in tha tub when I heard Asskicker start 'er cryin'. I knew after a few minutes that Sugar must've fallen asleep 'cause she kept on cryin' so I hurried up an' got out of there as fast as I could.

Sure enough, Sugar was sound asleep an' was even snorin' a lil' bit.

I grabbed Asskicker right up an' carried 'er inta tha other room with me so she wouldn't wake 'er mama up. Sugar needs all tha sleep she can get.

* * *

**Beth-**

I woke up to the smell of stew cookin' and the sound of rain beatin' against the house.

It was eerie but at the same time it was comforting.

The rain meant the walkers would slow down, at least for a little bit, so we wouldn't have to worry about them and the food, well of course that meant we were getting' somethin' to eat and it was somethin' that would warm us up in this drafty house.

It's been getting' harder for me to do things on my own, like standin' up and walkin', but I was able to push myself up out of the bed and take the few steps into the other room.

One of the things I haven't gotten used to yet is seein' how Merle is with Judy. He's so sweet to her and I can tell he loves havin' her in his arms. He's nothin' like everyone thought he was or how he was at the prison. He may look and act rough to others but he's really caring and sweet. He's a teddy bear.

I quickly covered my mouth when I let out a little giggle at that thought.

Merle and Judy both snapped their head towards me and Merle smiled while Judy stayed seated in Merle's lap clappin' her hands.

"Hey silly girl," I said with a smile as I slowly waddled over to them.

"Ya feelin' alright?" Merle asked, lookin' up at me.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm fine, Merle. Just a little hungry."

He sat Judy down on the floor next to him and stood up quickly.

"Sit down an' I'll get ya somethin'."

He helped me sit down in the recliner then fixed me a bowl of the rabbit stew he had made.

"Have y'all ate?" I asked.

"Yep, we sure did," he said, sitting back down on the floor with Judy. "Mashed up tha taters in 'er stew an' gave 'er a couple bites of tha meat. How'd ya sleep?"

I shrugged and took a bite. "Good, I guess. How long was I asleep for?"

"A pretty good while. I got that food cooked, me an' Asskicker ate, then I had ta give 'er a bath 'cause jus' changing that girls diaper wasn't gon' help."

I sat my bowl on the little table beside me and leaned forward as much as I could. "Thank you, Merle, for takin' care of us."

"Ya ain't gotta thank me, Sugar. Y'all are my girls an' I'ma take care a y'all. Once Junior's big enough, I'ma teach 'im ta hunt so he can help take care of his Mama an' sister."

"Well ain't you just the sweetest thing, Merle Dixon," I giggled.

"Yeah, yeah. Ya know us Dixon's take care a our own. Won't be no different once we got Junior."

* * *

**Merle-**

Sugar's smiled faded an' she leaned back in tha recliner again.

"Merle, exactly how are you plannin' on doin' that? How are we goin' to make? I mean, we're goin' to have two babies so if we have to leave here, it'll be harder because they're goin' to be cryin' and we won't be able to stop to feed them if there's a heard," she breathed out quickly.

"Damn, Sugar, jus' calm down. We'll figure it out."

"Oh my God, Merle. What if we have to leave before the baby is born? I can'tsurvive on the road like Lori did. What if we can't find a place for me to have the baby?"

Her eyes grew wide an' I thought she was 'bout ta tell me it was time but instead she started to cry.

I sat Asskicker down an' pulled Sugar up from 'er seat. "C'mon Sugar. Calm down, alright? Ain't none of that what ya should be worryin' 'bout. I'm take care of ever'thin'. You jus' let me worry 'bout that shit."

She nodded but kept on cryin'. It wasn't long 'fore she had Asskicker cryin' too.

I led Sugar ta tha bedroom an' got 'er ta lay down then I went ta get Asskicker. She'd quit cryin' by tha time I got back in there to 'er but Sugar hadn't stopped. I carried Asskicker ta tha bedroom an' laid 'er down on tha bed with 'er Mama.

Sugar finally quit cryin' 'bout tha time I finished makin' sure tha place was locked up an' got back ta tha bedroom.

She was sittin' there, wipin' 'er eyes an' singin' softly ta Asskicker.

* * *

**Beth-**

I glanced up when Merle came back to the bedroom but I kept singin' to Judy. It was the only way to calm myself down and it always put her to sleep.

Merle didn't say anythin' as he changed clothes and got into bed with us, he just waited with his eyes closed until I finished the song. When I had, I laid back and Judy crawled over to Merle and put her head on his shoulder. I smiled to myself and closed my eyes.

I felt the bed movin' sometime later but I knew it wasn't Merle, he was still asleep and snorin'. I peeked one eye open to see Judy was sittin' up between us and bouncin'.

I got out of bed as quietly as I could so I wouldn't wake Merle up and dug around in the bag beside the bed for a diaper and the wipes so I could change her.

After I had done that, Judy and I laid back down and I quietly sang to her until she went back to sleep.

* * *

**Merle-**

When I woke up, the sun was just barely comin' up an' shinin' through the window but it was still rainin' an' Sugar was still asleep beside me an' was lightly snorin'.

Asskicker though, she was sittin' up an' gigglin' an' clappin' 'er hands together. When I moved ta sit up in tha bed, she squealed an' slapped 'er hands on my stomach.

"Pa….pa!" Asskicker squealed happily an' I jus' 'bout shot up outta that bed. Sugar almost did too.

Sugar sat up with one hand on 'er stomach an' tha other rubbin' 'er eyes an' asked, "What's goin' on?"

Asskicker laughed an' reached out to us.

"Pa….pa," she giggled.

Sugar smiled an' I picked Asskicker up.

"Ya ain't s'posed ta be sayin' Papa, you're s'posed ta say Mama," I told 'er.

"Shut up, Merle," Sugar whispered. "She just loves her Papa."

"Well, I ain't 'er Papa."

"Yes you are. You're more of a dad to her than Rick is and you're more than just her Mer. You're all she knows and like you say, we're your girls. Besides, I'm not her mom but you still try to get her to call me Mama, so why can't I get her to call you Papa?"

* * *

**Beth-**

Merle didn't want to admit it but I could tell by the way he held on to Judy that he was proud and excited that she had called him Papa, even if she hasn't yet put the two syllables together we still know what she's sayin'.

It's just a matter of time before she's runnin' around callin' him Papa and talkin' more.

I rubbed my hands over my stomach and watched Merle try to get his bag ready for a quick run while still holdin' on to Judy.

I didn't try to take her from him because I knew he wanted that time with her before he left though he assured me it wouldn't take him more than a day or two.

"Alright, Sugar," he turned to me when he had finished. "Like I told ya 'fore, anythin' happens, ya jus' keep goin' with tha sun on yer left shoulder an' I'll find ya."

"Tell me again why you're goin' on this run?"

"Ta find more stuff fer you an' tha baby."

I him a little nod and bit my tongue. I knew what he wasn't sayin'. He wanted to find stuff just in case somethin' were to go wrong. I don't blame him for thinkin' about that, I think about it too. It would be hard on Merle to take care of Judy and the baby on his own if somethin' were to happen to me but I have no doubt he could do it. Sure, it would be easier if we were still with our family but we're not. Whatever happens, happens.

Merle kissed me and Judy goodbye and we stood in the doorway to watch him leave. When he was out of sight, I went back inside and put Judy in her playpen then I went around making sure the door was secured and so were the windows.

With Merle being gone, and this run going to last a couple of days, I moved what I knew we would be needing into the bedroom so we wouldn't haven't move around too much and possibly attract walkers.

* * *

**Daryl-**

I'd seen tha tracks but I wasn't sure who they belonged to. I thought Carl hadn't seen 'em but then he pointed 'em out an' said we should follow 'em 'cause he thought maybe it was someone we knew.

We ain't seen no one we knew in months, not since tha farm. Don't know why he'd think this would lead ta anyone we knew. Tha way I saw it, it was gon' lead us ta trouble.

We'd finally found a town a few days ago an' found some supplies an' things ta help him with 'is cold. It wasn't much but it'd get us through a few more days, least 'til we could find somewhere ta stay where we won't be out in tha open like we are now.

Stayin' in a house or a buildin' like we are now ain't a good idea. People will always look there first fer shelter or supplies but tha boy needs ta rest an' get 'is fever down 'fore we can move again.

* * *

**Merle-**

I walked for a solid day 'fore I got ta tha closest town. I knew there were a few places I could hit for supplies an' car I'd stashed last time I'd made a run through here. I wasn't stupid enough ta carry tha car back ta my girls an' risk someone or somethin' followin' me to 'em so I left it where we could get to it if we needed to.

Sugar's panic 'fore I left didn't help me none. She's closer ta havin' that kid an' I don't want 'er ta be there alone when it happens.

I've thought 'bout what could go wrong, like it did with Officer Friendly's wife, an' I'ma make damn sure that doesn't happen.

It may sound crazy, an' I won't say a word a this ta Sugar, but I'd rather lose our kid than her. It'd be hard getting' over it if that happened but there ain't no way in hell I could take care a Asskicker an' Junior if I lost her.

I's in an ol' repair shop, packin' up tha first aid kits an' anythin' else I could find that would be useful when I heard a couple gunshots an' somethin' crashin' down not far away.

Any other time I'd a stopped what I's doin' ta see what tha hell was goin' on but this stuff was more important than some assholes makin' too much noise. I's hopin' I could finish packin' what I could find an' get outta there 'fore I's spotted.

But I guess that was too much ta ask for.

Soon as I stepped out a that place, a heard a damn walkers started towards me quicker than anythin'.

There was another shot fired but I wasn't tryin' ta find out who was makin' all that noise. I dodged a few walkers an' got a few with my knife but they kept comin'.

* * *

**Beth-**

I held Judy close with my hand coverin' her mouth as I listened for the footsteps I had heard. I could tell it was walkers by the way the thuddin' noise of them bumpin' up against the house and moaning.

Thankfully, Judy was used to us doin' this because whenever a walker came too close to the house, Merle had us get in the closet until it passed.

"They're after somethin' inside," a man's voice said loud enough I could hear it over the moans of the walkers.

I held tight to Judy and prayed they wouldn't find us, that they'd move on without takin' a second look at this place.

Judy whimpered when the front door slammed against the wall.

Their footsteps were heavy and, by the sounds of their voices, I could tell they weren't the friendly kind.

I just sat there holdin' onto Judy and prayin' for Merle to return. Even after the closet door was swung open and I was pulled up by my hair, I continued to pray.

"Claimed!" a man shouted. "I claim 'em both!"

"Well now hold on there, Dan," another man said. "That one there is jus' a baby. Cain't be claimin' her."

"But I saw 'em both first. I found 'em," he protested.

I watched the other man shake his head and take a few steps towards me. I couldn't move though. He looked at Judy then looked me over.

"I guess I cain't keep Dan from claimin' you but I ain't gonna let 'im claim a baby," he said to me.

Another man took Judy from me and carried her into the other room, leavin' me alone with Dan.

* * *

**Merle-**

I didn't see tha damn walker comin' up behind me 'til it had jus' 'bout knocked me over inta tha herd.

I dropped tha bags of supplies I had an' started fightin' back 'til I was backed up against tha buildin'.

'Fore I could get my knife up ta kill tha last walker in front a me, there was another shot then it's blood splattered across my face an' tha walker fell ta tha ground.

"Merle?"

I looked up ta see Officer Friendly's boy standin' there wide eyed with 'is gun pointed at me.

"Where's Beth and my sister?" he asked.

"Put down that gun an' I'll tell ya," I replied.

He slowly lowered 'is gun. "Where are they?"

"In a house 'bout a day's walk from here," I told 'im. 'I'll carry ya to 'em. Sugar'll be glad ta see ya. Jus' follow me." I picked up tha bags an' stuck my knife through a walker that was crawlin' towards me.

"I can't," he said.

"Why tha hell not?"

"I gotta find Daryl."

"Baby brother was with you?"

"Yeah. He was 'til this heard split us up."

"Aight. We'll look for 'im then we're getting' tha hell out a here. Those shots ya fired were probably heard fer miles."

* * *

Beth watched as the man stood before her, slowly undoing his belt and eyeing her.

She placed her hand on her stomach and let out a cry and doubled over.

"Shut the hell up," Dan snapped and stepped towards her. "You can scream an' cry all ya want but ain't none a them gon' come in an' help ya."

Beth let out another cry and clutched both hands to her stomach.

"Please don't," she pleaded and cried. "I think…. I think the baby's comin'."

"What tha fuck?!" He shouted and grabbed her hair, jerking her head up so they were face to face. "Don't think that baby comin' is gon' keep me from getting' mine. There's other things that can be done."

Beth gasped when he smashed his lips to hers and jerked her hand forward, grabbing the knife that was attached to his belt and quickly plunging it into his stomach.

He pulled away from her and stared, gasping for breath as she drug the knife upwards until she hit bone.

She could hear the men in the other room snickering and carrying on as he hit the floor in front of her, hands grasping for anything within their reach.

Beth stood over him, still aware of the men in the other room and what would happen when they found out about their friend. She knelt down as far as she could and covered his mouth with her hand and plunged the knife into his skull.

"C'mon Dan!" one of the men shouted. "The boys want their turn with 'er."

She was shaking when she reached for the doorknob but she knew what had to be done. She took a deep breath to steady her nerves as she slowly turned the doorknob.

"Joe?" she called out in a shaky voice. "Dan said it was your turn. You're next."

The men all hooped and hollered as Joe made his way to the room.

Beth hadn't bothered with trying to move Dan's body, in her own twisted way she was proud and she wanted them to know what she had done and that she wouldn't let them hurt her or Judy.

When Joe stepped into the room he glanced down at Dan's body then closed the door behind him and stared at Beth.

"You stupid bitch," he said as he started towards her. She fell backwards onto the bed.

"I had to," she whispered.

Before she knew it, he was on top of her.

* * *

Merle and Carl searched three buildings, top to bottom, before they found Daryl. He was pinned down underneath a shelf but he wasn't hurt bad from what they could see.

They quickly lifted the shelf off of him and Merle checked him over for any cuts or other visible wounds.

"Merle said he could take us to Judy and Beth," Carl said cheerfully.

Daryl stared at his brother before asking, "How far away are they?"

Merle shrugged. "'Bout a day's walk from 'ere but I got a car stashed not far that'll get us there a hell of a lot quicker."

Daryl and Carl helped load the stuff Merle had gathered into the car without any questions. After the car was loaded, Daryl drove following Merle's directions.

It took them only four hours to reach the spot where they would hide the car, from there it would be another three hour walk if they got lucky and didn't run into a heard.

* * *

**Beth-**

Joe didn't react the way I had expected him to.

Once he was on top of me, he slid his hands around my throat and applied pressure.

"I'd love ta kill ya fer what ya did ta Dan but s'pose he had it comin' with claimin' yer baby an' all," he sighed. "An' it wouldn't be right ta deny them boys of ya. Ain't none a us had a woman as pretty as you in a while." He squeezed my neck a little tighter. "We're gon' get ours, take whatever supplies ya got 'round here, an' in return, we'll leave you an' your kid alone. Ya think that's fair?"

I nodded as best as I could and tried to breathe calmly.

Keepin' one hand tight on my throat, he drew back with the other and slammed his fist into my face. It felt as if every bone in my face had shattered.

Just as he drew his fist back again, there was some commotion in the other room, but that didn't deter him from punchin' me again.

He let go of my throat and raised up, starin' down at me with a smile on his face.

* * *

**Carl-**

We'd made it to the house where Merle said Beth and Judy were but when we saw the front door was kicked in, Daryl had to hold Merle back from runnin' inside.

We watched a couple guys step out onto the porch to smoke a cigarette and another man came to the door and was talkin' to them.

There was no way of tellin' how many more were inside but we were goin' to find out.

Merle let us know real quick that he wasn't leavin' 'til he knew that Beth and Judy weren't inside. He told us the only way out was the front door, except for the window in the bedroom he'd left accessible from the inside.

Daryl and Merle waited 'til the guy that had been talkin' to the ones on the porch went back inside then they moved quickly to take out the two on the porch.

Daryl waved for me to follow and soon the three of us were inside.

I immediately spotted Judy in a playpen in the corner of the room and went to her while Daryl and Merle fought with the guys.

"Check tha bedroom fer Sugar," Merle called out to me.

I hesitated to open it, afraid that maybe Beth wasn't inside and if she was, she wouldn't be Beth.

* * *

**Daryl-**

Carl stood at that bedroom door for a while an' I could see that was irritatin' tha shit out a Merle that he hadn't gone in ta see if Beth was in there.

Merle slammed 'is knife inta tha last man an' pushed Carl out a tha way ta get inside that bedroom, me an' Carl followed 'im.

There was a body on tha floor an' a man had Beth pinned against tha wall.

Merle took a step towards 'em but stopped when Beth dug her teeth inta tha man's neck an' pushed 'im away.

Carl turned away from 'er ta throw up when she spit out 'is blood an' skin.

Tha man fell ta tha floor an' Merle wasted no time goin' ta Beth.

He grabbed tha back of 'er neck an' pulled 'er to 'im.

We all stood there for a while 'fore I tapped Carl on tha arm an' we drug tha two bodies out a that room.

* * *

**Merle-**

"Aw hell, Sugar. I'm fuckin' sorry I wasn't 'ere," I told 'er but she didn't look at me, jus' kept lookin' straight ahead. "What'd they do? They touch ya?"

"Not this time," she said, still without lookin' at me.

She'd watched us drag tha bodies out an' burn 'em but she didn't say nothin'. She didn't speak ta baby brother, tha boy, or try ta hold Asskicker, she jus' sat there watchin' us clean up.

* * *

A few days passed by 'fore Sugar would even look at me an' when she did, there was somethin' in 'er eyes that wasn't tha same.

Since I'd come back with Daryl an' tha boy, she'd gone ta bed without me, not even botherin' ta carry Asskicker with 'er.

Tonight though, I wasn't gon' sit 'ere an' let 'er slip away like that, so when she went ta bed, I followed 'er.

"What tha hell ya doin', Sugar?"

She looked up at me an' frowned. "What the hell does it look like I'm doin', Merle? I'm goin' to bed."

"I ain't talkin' 'bout that…."

"Oh, I get it," she interrupted me. "You're talkin' about me not askin' you to come to bed with me, not wantin' to be around you? Is that it? Or maybe, and this is my personal favorite, you fuckin' lied to me! You kept tellin' me that it was just us, that everyone else was gone but they weren't and you kept me from goin' back to look for them, you wouldn't even let me think they were alive! Instead of bein' with them, I'm with you and I've had to kill people. Not walkers, Merle, people. Good or bad, they were still livin', breathin' people."

"You wouldn't a killed 'em if they wasn't threatenin' ta hurt ya or Asskicker. You protected 'er an' our baby, same as I was protectin' you from goin' back an' lookin' for tha others."

She put 'er hands on 'er stomach an' hung 'er head. "I'm sorry, Merle," she cried. "I'm so sorry."

"Hey," I went to 'er an' put my arms 'round 'er. "How many times have I told ya there ain't nothin' ya should be sorry 'bout? Ya did what ya had ta do ta protect yer own, same as I's doin'. I'm sorry I kept ya from goin' back, for not lookin' myself but ya should hear what baby brother an' tha boy have ta say. Alright?"

She nodded an' put 'er arms 'round me. "Will you stay with me tonight?"

"'Course I will, Sugar. Let me see if they'll watch Asskicker so ya can get some sleep without her wakin' ya up."

* * *

**Beth-**

I felt horrible for yellin' at Merle. I wasn't mad at him and I knew he was just tryin' to protect us but I couldn't help it. I had to get it off my chest somehow and thankfully he knew that and just let me take it out on him, even though it wasn't right for me to do that.

He came back in after I had laid down and grabbed a few extra blankets and pillows for Daryl and Carl.

I'm so happy they're with us now but I feel terrible for not sayin' much to them since they've been back. I should apologize to them and let them know I love them, but that'll have to wait until tomorrow.

The bedroom door shut a minute or two after I heard Merle tellin' Judy goodnight. The bed dipped behind me and he slid his arm around me, his hand restin' on my stomach.

Sometime durin' the night I woke up to Merle snorin' beside me. His arm wasn't around me anymore so I sat up in the bed, my mind replayin' everythin' that had happened the last few days.

I rested my head against the wall behind me and closed my eyes. It wasn't just a few seconds later when I opened them and sat up straight.

"Merle," I whispered and shook his arm. "Merle, wake up."

He mumbled and rolled over onto his side.

"Damn it, Merle," I said a little louder, still shakin' his arm.

"Huh?" he mumbled this time.

"Get up!" I shouted.

He jumped up and stared at me. The bedroom door opened and Daryl and Carl stood there, each with their hand on a knife.

"Tha hell's wrong?" Daryl asked.

I smiled. "Junior's on his way."


	24. Chapter 24

 

**Beth-**

Merle jumped up out of the bed quicker than I had seen him move in a while but he stayed calm.

"Alright, Sugar," he said. "Don't ya worry 'bout nothin'."

Daryl and Carl stood in the doorway watchin' Merle move around the room like he knew what he was doin'.

**Merle-**

Sugar watched me an' after a lil' while she started laughin'.

"What tha hell's so funny?" I asked 'er.

She shook 'er head at me an' reached out 'er hand. "Just come sit with me, please Merle."

I smiled at 'er then looked up ta see baby brotha an' tha boy was still standin' in tha doorway.

"Why don't y'all go tend ta Angel 'til it's time fer Sugar ta have lil' Junior an' Daryl, when she does I'ma need ya ta come in 'ere an' help out. There's only so much I can do with one hand."

He gave me a nod an' they both stepped out a tha room, shuttin' tha door behind 'em.

Sugar sat up as best she could an' patted tha bed next ta 'er an' I quickly took that offer.

She leaned against my chest an' I put my arm 'round 'er.

"Ya know I love ya, Sugar, an' I'ma love this baby too."

I felt 'er smile against my chest then' she put 'er hand on my leg an' gave it a squeeze.

"Ya alright, Sugar?"

"I'm fine. It was just a little contraction."

* * *

Daryl washed his hands in the kitchen sink, scrubbing them good to make sure they were as clean as he could possibly get them for when he had to help Merle deliver the baby. Until then, he paced the floor and prayed for his brother, Beth, and his niece or nephew.

This was all still weird to him. He had thought of Beth as a little sister and he had thought Merle was taking advantage of her but after months being on the run with Carl, they both came to see that Merle loved Beth and he loved Judith because if he didn't, he wouldn't have gotten them out of there when he did.

They had been back with Beth, Merle, and Judith for a few days now and Daryl could see that Beth had been just what Merle had needed all along and he questioned himself about why they didn't all see it sooner.

He wondered if Merle knew just how lucky he was and if this change he had seen in Merle was something that would stick. He hoped like hell it would because if it didn't, well, he planned to kick his brother's ass until he saw just how lucky he was.

"Daryl!" Beth screamed suddenly. "Get your ass in here. Now!"

Carl quickly stood up, clutching Judith tightly to him as he and Daryl stared at the bedroom door.

"Now would be good!" Beth screamed again and he hurried inside.

"Oh shit," Daryl muttered when he entered the room.

Beth was on the bed with both legs pulled up as far as she could get them and Merle was sitting on the bed, hunched over and pale.

"What tha hell's wrong?" Daryl finally asked.

Merle glared up at him then motioned for him to come closer but he stayed right there by the door.

"It's alright, Daryl." Beth said with gritted teeth. "It seems Merle ain't as tough as he thought. He started throwin' up when he checked to see if ….." Then she screamed again and Merle jumped up and threw back the sheet that was covering her up.

Daryl almost laughed at the look on his brother's face, almost. He was that stupid.

"Get over 'ere, baby brotha," Merle muttered. "Ya got ta deliver this kid. Junior's already crownin'."

"Crownin'?" Daryl questioned.

"Oh for God's sake," Beth mumbled. "Get over here and get this kid out of me!"

* * *

Carl walked around the living room, bouncing Judith as he did to try to keep her calm while Beth was screaming.

It was all so overwhelming for him to be there, listening to her screams like he did with his mom but at least he knew if something happened, Merle and Daryl would be the ones to take care of her. He just wasn't up for that this time around.

Judy cooed and pulled on his hair a little but he didn't mind.

After a while he finally sat down on the floor and put Judy down next to him.

"Ma….ma," Judy mumbled and pointed to the bedroom door when Beth started screaming again.

Carl smiled and nodded. "Mama," he repeated. "Mama's havin' a baby. You excited 'bout that?" He asked his sister. He didn't expect any kind of reaction from her but she grinned and clapped her hands together.

* * *

Merle showed Daryl the books and pointed out exactly what it was he was supposed to do then he took his spot behind Beth and gave her his hand to hold on to.

It seemed to Beth that it took forever for her to finally give that last push but as soon as she did, she fell back against Merle and sighed.

Merle kissed her forehead and smiled. "Ya ready ta see if I's right, Mama?"

Beth closed her eyes, smiled, and nodded as Merle eased from behind her and over to Daryl and the baby.

She laid back on the bed while they took care of cleaning up the baby then scooted back enough to sit up against the headboard and reached her arms out when Merle turned to her with the baby wrapped in a little blanket.

He smiled the biggest smile she had ever seen and gently placed the baby in her arms.

She gave a little laugh and smiled. "I guess you were right, Merle, Dixon's don't have daughters."

"Damn straight. Told ya Junior 'ere was gon' be a boy."

"You're not really namin' him Junior, are ya?" Daryl asked from the foot of the bed.

"Naw," Merle shook his head. "It's jus' what I been callin' 'im."

Beth shook her head. "I happen to like Junior. Besides, you've been callin' him Junior this long, why change it now?"

"We ain't namin' that boy Junior," Merle replied sternly.

Beth just gave him a little smile then looked down at the baby in her arms. "We're namin' him Junior and that's final."

Merle shook his head. "I done told ya, Sugar, we ain't namin' 'im Junior."

She cocked her head to the side and looked up at him and asked, "How about Merle Junior then?"

"Aw hell," Merle mumbled. "I ain't winnin' this one, am I?"

"Nope," Beth said with a laugh.

All the while Daryl was standing there, watching this little exchange and how happy they were and he knew then this change was here to stay.

His brother, Merle Dixon, was a changed man, a better man and it was all because of Beth.

Carl had picked up Judy when they heard the baby crying and was waiting by the bedroom door when Daryl opened it and gave him a nod to step inside.

"Bring her here," Beth said happily when she saw Judy.

Carl did as he was told and sat down on the bed next to Beth, letting Judy crawl out of his arms and over to her.

"Hey Angel," Merle said to her as he picked her up to look at the baby. "This 'ere is yer baby brotha Junior."

* * *

_**Three Months Later…** _

"You don't have to go," Beth said with tears in her eyes. "You're our family and we need y'all."

"We gotta go, Beth," Daryl murmured, putting his arm around her shoulders. "Me an' Carl, we told tha others we'd meet up with 'em if we found y'all or not an' that's what we're gon' do."

Beth reached her arm out and pulled Carl to her and said, "Y'all better come back."

She and Merle stood on the porch of their little cabin, Merle with Judy in his arms and Beth with Junior in hers, as they watched Daryl and Carl walking away.

"We should be goin' with them," she said.

"I know but we got a good thing 'ere right now. Maybe when Junior gets a lil' older we'll see if we can find 'em somehow."

Later that night after Judy and Junior had fallen asleep and Beth had laid down, Merle sat down in the recliner, opened an envelope and unfolded the papers Daryl had given them before he left.

Inside there were letters from Rick, Maggie, and Hershel, all with the same message that if they were reading them, they were sorry for how they had acted and they wanted them to come home, wherever home was now.

There was also a map with the route their family was supposed to be taking to their new home and he knew that eventually he would have to show these to Beth, but until then they would stay here where he knew they were safe.

He would protect Beth, Judy, and Junior until the day he died and then he prayed like hell they would all be with their family so he didn't have to worry about them.

_ **THE ENDING** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter was much shorter than I planned but I felt it was time to wrap it up and hopefully this was worth the long wait. Thank y'all for reading, reviewing, favoriting, and following this story. This was my very first Meth story and I am really going to miss writing for it.
> 
> Please leave a review!


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